Belief

2.3

I ran out into the living room, scanning the room quickly before I found my keys under the couch. I grabbed them, slamming the front door behind me as I went to my car.

The engine revved up, I pulled out quickly, not even bothering to look if anyone was behind me.

What's the address, I'm coming, I text Calum quickly. He responds within seconds.

I was tired of pretending this wasn't hurting me.

I turn on the radio, hoping to drown out my thoughts.

I've never told a lie,

and that makes me a liar,

I've never made a bet,

but we gamble with desire,

I've never lit a match,

with intent to start a fire,

but recently the flames,

are getting out of control.

The lyrics pinpoint my feelings. Yet again, music is the only way I can tell what I feel.

I never meant for any of this to happen.

Wait outside,

I hope the air will serve to remind you,

that my heart is as cold as the clouds of your breath,

and my words are as timed as the beating in my chest.

Everything I said to her, none of it was true. Just thinking about her believing the words I had rehearsed, the words that ended everything, made me sick. She had to know the truth. I wasn't even considering the consequences.

I was getting impatient, what if she was already at the party? What if some guy was already touching her?

What was I even going to say to her? She probably hates me. I didn't think I would be able to face her without getting emotional. So manly of me.

I finally reached the house, parking my car quickly. Calum texted me that they were on their way into the kitchen. I ran up the grass, ignoring the crowds of people, ignoring anyone trying to get my attention. My mind was so focused on getting to her that it drowned out the music, the voices, and the bodies I was bumping into as I entered the house.

I neared the kitchen, scanning the room until I saw her. Her back was to me, facing some guy. Who the hell was he? He grinned at her, staring at her in a way that made me clench my fists. Ashton caught sight of me, his eyes widening. I just froze, not sure whether to wave or not. My hand sort of had a spasm by my side.

I watched as Ashton tapped Maddie's shoulder, making her turn around. God she was so beautiful, but she looked so...broken. I did this to her, I ruined her. I didn't deserve her. I should really just go.

Her eyes met mine, all I could see was the hurt and betrayal lidded within them. I began to push my way through the crowd, I had to fill those eyes with happiness again. Would I even be able too?

Just as I was about to reach the kitchen I was stopped by small hands grabbing each of my arms. What the fuck?

I turned, there were two girls on each side of me, smiling up at me.

"Hi," they giggled, flipping their hair. They all began rambling off, my mind being overwhelmed with squeals and questions.

"You're the singer from that gig last weekend, right?" the one on my right smiled up at me. I think she said her name was Grace.