DMBI - Love is a Hybrid of Friendship and Lust

Chapter Thirteen

Namjoon blinks. He vaguely remembers looking up at a lot of trees and feeling warm soil under his fingernails. He remembers the taste of blood in his mouth, the smell of cold air, the sound of sobbing. But he doesn't know why. His mind goes blank as soon as he tries to encourage those memories to get a little more in-depth. He blinks again. Still nothing - it must be seriously dark wherever he is. "Shin?..." He doesn't know why she is the first thing on his mind, but he knows that needs her. If he is honest, that is about the one thing that he can be sure of. "Shin?" He starts to panic. "Shin, where are you?"

"I'm here! It's okay. Hey, look at me." The vampire slips onto the bed, confused when his eyes don't meet hers at her voice but instead look aimlessly left of her full of shock and unknown. He seems unbalanced at the dip of the mattress with his arms splaying outwards and his eyes darting down and across the crumpled blanket, creased from his prior thrashing about in them.

"I-I can't..." Tears brim in his already moist eyes. 

"Why not?" She chuckles, stroking his cheek lovingly before catching herself and pulling her hand away, clenching it to her lap in case it goes off on its own again. "Just look at me, calm down and then go back to sleep, okay?"

"No, I.. I can't see..." 

He hears Shin gulp. How can he hear that?

"Go back to sleep, Joonie."

"Bu-"

"Go back to sleep." Her voice is silken and persuasive. He wants to defy her, but at the same time, he really doesn't want to. His eyes close, unwillingly willing, and his breathing slows once again.

He slides his hand closer to where he thinks she is, hoping to feel her satin skin. "Shi-" Before he's even finished her name, her fingers tickle over his bare arms, fingertips soft and warm. She's never felt warm before. He smiles contentedly as she strokes his hair.

In and out, in and out. Namjoon slips from consciousness and then wakes again to soothing words and touches, telling him he's doing well. What's he doing well at? He's just sleeping... Speaking of which, why is he so tired?

He hears hushed voices. "I don't know, Shin! It's normally Joon who knows all this stuff.." Yoongi's voice. Namjoon smiles slightly. His friends are worried about him. He wonders why.

"Okay, then look through his books!"

"Where the hell would I start?? With the ones in Korean? Or the ones in fucking code?!" 

"Don't wake him up. It's mostly Korean and English with a few in Japanese and some coded. Any codes have keys in sci-fi books. Just go through coded and Korean first, and then if we find nothing we'll cross that bridge when we come to it..." He can hear the stress in her voice. He wants to make everything okay. But honestly, sex right now seems like the worst possible idea. He's so tired. And he doesn't know how else to help Shin feel any better. Maybe she does deserve more than him...

"How the hell do you know all this, Shin? Are you two dating??" Yoongi grins, Namjoon can hear it in his voice.

"Find out how to help my fucking dhampir." Namjoon almost chuckles. He doesn't need to be able to see to know that Shin is glaring right now. But then his heart drops. Did she turn someone? Who?... Does that mean she doesn't need Namjoon anymore? She has someone else. Forever...

He dreams of white eyes and people touching Shin. Everyone but him. He's reaching out but she doesn't need him. She doesn't want him.

He comes out of sleep, drawn away by two soft hands. They calm him, stroking his cheek, his hair, his arm. "I'm here, baby. Calm down. I've got you.."  Shin's voice melts around his ears like dripping chocolate, and he's suddenly calm.