How to be Forever Alone [#Wattys2020]

12.

There are moments in your life when you question your sanity. I've been doing it almost every day for the last five years. Most of the time I came to the conclusion that I wasn't about to fly off my hinges, but I don't think this is one of those days.

My heart felt as if it was beating out of control and my brain could only think of everything I had ever noticed about Jack. Like the grey scoop-neck T-shirt that he wore when we met yesterday. He was still wearing it now and those sweat stains still contoured his chest. It might be something really random to notice, but I couldn't help myself.

"Do you like eggs?" he asks.

Of course, you do, breakfast is your favourite meal of the day.

I bite my lower lip and nod, "Mmhhm."

"Cool," he says as he turns to his fridge.

I watch him as he looks for his eggs and it seemed that he was having trouble finding them. It's almost as if the Easter bunny had been here a few months too early.

But none of my thoughts could stop me from watching him and the subtle interactions he had with everything he touched.

"There they are," Jack finally says as he brings out the carton of eggs.

He places them on the counter before opening one of the upper cupboards. I watch him as he stretches his left arm to grab a frying pan and I can see his muscles tense up.

Claire, STOP IT!

As he finally places the pan on the stove, he turns around and faces me. The right corner of his mouth in a smirking grin as he looks at me.

"So..." he starts, "How do you like your eggs cooked?"

"Whatever way you like to make them. I'm not fussy." I reply.

"Okay," he says, "how about scrambled?"

I nod as I say, "Perfect."

It's about a half hour later and we're sitting down at the table eating our breakfast. It's been a while since I've had a big breakfast like this and I've always missed it during the times in between those wonderful mornings.

"Look at that," I point behind Jack.

He turns around in his chair to see what I wanted to show him.

"It stopped raining," I tell him.

"Yes, it has," he says, still looking out the porch windows.

I made sure to show him how excited I was. The corners of my mouth raised in a smile with my teeth clearly shining.

It took him a while but he finally realized the joy I was holding in. And just like he knew exactly what I was thinking, he still didn't think it was a good idea.

"No," he says pointing a finger at me, "I know what you want to do."

"Why not?" I tilt my head to the side, almost as if I was giving him puppy dog eyes.

"We haven't even finished eating our breakfast," he replies.

He never even noticed that I had finished while he wasn't paying attention. As soon as he realized it, he knew he wasn't going to win this fight.

"You said that when the rain stopped, we'd figure out how to fix that leak together," I stated.

I'm just holding him accountable for his words. No harm in that.

His eyebrows are raised, kind of like he's surprised, but I knew what he was going to say, "But it's still wet and slippy, you could hurt yourself."

I get up and place my dishes in the sink, "And that's why you're there. You can be my spotter."

"Spotter?" he hadn't heard that term before.

"You don't know what a spotter is?" I start, "You fix things and climb ladders and stuff, I kind of would have thought you would know what a spotter is."

"I'm self-taught," he shrugs.

I roll my eyes as I give him the answer he's looking for, "It's a person who looks out for you so you don't fall and get hurt."

"That makes sense," he says.

And after debating for another ten minutes, you can guess who won. It was me.

We stood outside, staring at the house, wondering how we were going to tackle the leak in the roof. It didn't help that Jack didn't have a ladder. He said he usually borrowed the one at his friend's house. But guess what? His friend isn't home.

"We can try again later," he tells me.

I wasn't going to give up so easily.

I look up to him, "We can't just keep filling up buckets. You'll run out. Plus, even though I'm not an expert, I feel that the longer we leave it the more damage it will cause. I don't think you want to deal with that."

He lets out a breath and slouches, "You're right. We can't leave it."

And here we are finally agreeing on something, but still completely lost at how to fix our problem.

I'm sure we were both at least trying to think of a sensible solution at some point, but Jacks final idea had me a little worried.

"I've got it," he says, "I'll boost you up on to the roof."

"What?!" I was kind of startled.

He goes up near the house where he demonstrates how we were going to do it.

"I'll be like your stepping stool. I'm sure I can handle it," he says.

"You can handle it, but what about me? My coordination is pretty weak. I'll probably fall off the roof and who is going to tell my family how I died?" I might have been over exaggerating a little bit.

Jack comes back to me, "But it's just like you said, I'll be your spotter. You'll be fine."

Oh, how the tables have turned...

He was now using my own trick against me. He was holding me accountable for my words.

"But-" I didn't really have any words to say.

"Come on," he motions me to get closer to the house, "you've got this."

And this Claire is how you get on top of a roof. Not only that, but you have no freaking idea how to fix it.

You're totally screwed.