How to be Forever Alone [#Wattys2020]

10.

I almost couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was absolutely stunning. It must have been something out of a fairy tale.

It wasn't some giant castle. It was more like a small house in a beautiful meadow. Jack's house has charm and a story that probably goes on for over a century. That was completely a guess for me, but I highly doubted that I was wrong.

I found his house so unique. For one, half of the house was covered in this aged white siding and if you looked close enough, you could see little spots of moss attaching itself to it. The other side was covered in a dark wood, almost like the wood in the hotel, and it stood up vertically. And, most of the windows were on the left side, where I assumed was an indoor patio.

"You looked so amazed," Jack says.

He wasn't wrong, I was just so curious and in awe of its beauty.

"It's beautiful," I tell him.

"Beautiful?" he replies with this air of confusion.

I lay out my hand as I survey what's in front of us, "Your house, it looks like everything I ever imagined in my fantasy house."

"So you enjoy having to fix every leak and crack that shows up every other day," he smiles.

I shake my head a little, still trying to explain myself, "That's besides that. If I had the chance to, it would be the perfect setting to go into some crazy musical number from a Disney movie."

"Well, nothing is stopping you." he points out.

"Except for my fear of being an annoying guest," I reply.

"I wouldn't worry about that," he starts, "it would be entertaining. I tend to be quite lonely out here."

He finally parked the car and shut it off. And slowly, he got out and took my bag out from the back seat. I unbuckled myself and opened the car door to set foot on the gravel driveway.

We both walked towards the front door and Jack started to try and unlock it. You could tell how old it was from the amount of fidgeting he did with the key.

"Unfortunately, it's kind of rusty. I guess that's the downside of living here," he tells me.

Eventually, he managed to get it open and for the first time, I could see the inside of his house.

"It's not much, but it's home," he says.

I look up to him, "And I think it's cute."

There wasn't a lot of room to move around in on the inside, but for a guy who lives alone, it was probably the perfect size.

The walls looked like any other home and were painted a light blue colour, almost white, but there were plenty of pictures and decorations hanging around. The only wall that was a bit different was the one on the left side of the room. It had a stone fireplace and I assumed that the chimney poked through to the single bedroom on the other side.

All the furniture was neatly placed, with the couches making a U shape around the fireplace. And on one side of it, there was the door to the washroom and on the other side was the door to the bedroom.

"I'll put your stuff in my bedroom, you'll be comfortable there," Jack says.

He can't do that for me. I'm just some random stranger to him, and he's been way to nice to me.

"I'm okay with sleeping on the couch. You've been working all day, I would rather you be comfortable." I reply.

"No really, I insist," he pushes.

"I really can't," I try to explain, "you've been so generous already. Just letting me stay here on your couch is enough."

"Are you sure?" he asks. "Cause you can always just push me off and steal it if you want."

I look at him with this grin, "I'm sure. The couch is fine."

"Okay," he finally agrees. "How about I make us something to eat?"

A half hour passes and I'm sitting at the little table Jack has in the kitchen. He's preparing soup and we're getting to know each other better.

He told me about his childhood dog, Rudy and how his parents got it for him and his siblings for Christmas when he was six. And apparently, he acted more like a cat than a dog, which plagued poor Rudy until his final days. It also made it sound like he got into quite a lot of trouble.

"I've never had a pet," I tell Jack.

He's surprised at my comment, "Really?"

"Yep," I nod. "My parents thought it would be too much to take care of a pet when they already have me and my brother. I guess to them, we were practically the same thing."

"That's quite the comparison," he laughs slightly.

I laugh along, "I was pretty much bouncing off the walls when I was four, so I don't really blame them."

We both had fun reminiscing our childhood. And though it was really different in ways, I couldn't help but still feel all the connections that were there. Behind the first layer, there were so many things we had in common.

Together, we shared our favourite colour. It's blue. And it turns out that he also dropped out of university, although he did that last year.

He peers back at me, "Did you leave for a specific reason?"

I hadn't really explained it in detail to anyone, except for maybe Flint. Still, I knew there was more to it then what I told him.

"I wasn't happy with where I was in life," I start, "I just didn't feel like I was myself. I talked to my brother, and somehow he convinced me to go on some crazy adventure. Now for choosing Ireland, I completely decided to come here off of the fact that my friend had ice cream here. He said it was the best he had ever had."

"That's the reason you're here? For ice cream?" he doesn't sound convinced.

I'm holding back and I know it. Deep down I know there's more, I've just never said out loud.

"I'm also kind of mad at my best friend, Karmen." I let out a breath, "And I know I shouldn't be, and I don't really show it, but she makes me feel jealous sometimes. Not only that, but I'm tired of people telling me, and asking me all these things that I have no control over."

Jack is pouring the soup into bowls and he brings them over to the table.

"Thanks," I tell him as I take my bowl.

He sits down in the chair on the other side of me. Behind him through the windows, I could see that almost all the light was gone and it was much later than when we had started our conversation.

"Believe me, I understand what that's like," he says. "It's a lot to take on."

"Yeah..." I say as I stir my soup with my spoon.

This conversation has me really down now...

"Claire?" I hear him say my name.

I look up at him, and I could see that he knew that talking about this made me feel kind of sad and down.

"If it makes you feel any better, I think I know where that ice cream your friend talked about is." he gives me a glimmer of a smile.