Spotlight

Chapter 12

Blue's POV

"How's he doing?" Calum asks me as he walks farther in Barry's room. Our son is still fast asleep, using my shoulder as a pillow. His arms are wrapped around my waist as he clings to my body. 

"Better, I think. He's at that point where what could've happened finally sets in and all you feel is guilt," I answer, running my fingers through Barry's light hair. Calum sits down on the edge of the bed and stares at the two of us. 

"What if we actually lost him, Blue?" Calum's voice cracks as he vocalizes the question that had been swirling around in my brain since we got here. "What if he actually died and no one could find him for the longest time only for his body to rise to the surface later on? I can't do this tour. I can't put that much more pressure on him and give the press even more reason to follow him around."

"Dad, no," Barry protests, startling us both as he sits up quickly, "Don't give up the tour for me. I'm fine!"

"Honey-"

"Please, don't do this for me," he pleads, "I don't want you guys to treat me differently because of this. Please." His voice is smaller and shaky. I see his body trembling slightly. I hold my baby closer to me, resting my chin on his head.

"I don't want you going through all of this added pressure in the spotlight because of the tour," Calum argues, frowning.

"Then check me into rehab or something while you're gone," Barry persists, still shaking slightly. "I want to get help, but I also don't want to ruin the tour because of it."

"You wouldn't be ruining anything, Barry," Calum states firmly, making his point clear. Our son nods, his head lowered slightly. The three of us all fall into a comfortable silence, just sitting together on the tiny hospital bed.

"If we agree to put you in rehab, and I still go on tour-"

"Yeah?" Barry cuts in, raising his gaze.

Calum sighs, "-then I want to make sure you're really okay with it: that you're not just saying this to try to convince me to go."

"Dad-"

"And please don't lie to us, Bear," Calum adds in quickly, "Your mum and I love you so much and never want to lose you. We fucked up so badly recently. Please tell us how you really truly feel about all of this." Tears run down all of our faces.

"I promise, dad," he chokes out, hugging Calum tightly with one arm. They're both careful of the arm in the cast. "I promise I'm not lying anymore. I'm sorry I'm a fuck up and a liar."

"You aren't," I jump in quickly, wiping the tears from his cheeks, "You aren't at all, baby. It's our fault for not listening to you and trying to see what you were going through. Don't ever blame yourself for what happened. Ever. Understand?" He nods and hugs me tightly again.