The Female Maknae (BTS 8th Member)

74. Why Do You Hate Me?

*⚠️WARNING!!⚠️This will contain cutting. Dont like. Don't read.

You have only been a member of  Bangtan for a month now.
Your not used to the boys yet because you never lived with so many.
Mostly everyone seemed nice.
Everyone except Jungkook.
He would always talk about you behind your back, he would bump into you and not even say sorry, and he did many other things; like left you alone at the practice room so then you had to walk back to the dorm.
He was just so mean to you.
Because of this, you tried to ignore him but it's kinda hard to ignore someone you see everyday.
You would wake up while everyone else was still asleep just so you could  leave the dorm early to get to your  office so you wouldn't have to deal with any of it.
What made you sad was that you actually felt like people were going to like you, and be your friend or something.
You thought that you might have found a family finally.
But maybe you were wrong.
Maybe you don't belong there.
Maybe everything would be better if you aren't there.
Maybe that's how it should be. 

Maybe that's how it's going to be...

You sat there in the bathroom again feeling nothing.
The sound of muffled cries and the bath tub water filling up filled the room.
You didn't want any contact with the world.
Crying like this was nothing new to you. You do it almost every night.
In your bathroom, underneath in the cabinet, is where you hid your blade.
That blade has been with you for many years now.
And to make it seem like nothing's wrong, you would usually cut your ankles, hips, and inner thighs.
You grabbed the blade in your shaking hand.
'It's okay' you whispered. This time you were going to cut your wrist because it's winter and you wear longs sleeves. 
You cut and cut until you felt satisfied.
You sat there (fully dressed) bleeding into the warm water of the bathtub.
Your head looked down but your eyes were closed.
You were hoping that the world would take you right then and right there.
But the bathroom door that you forgot to lock flew open and a males voice that sounded annoyed filled the silence of the bathroom
"Y/n, you have been in here for over an hour it's time for you to-"
You knew who it was.
You didn't look over or up. You simply didn't move.
"What the hell?" Jungkook rushed over to you
"Why do you hate me?" The quiet words left your mouth.
Jungkook felt his heart sink, being pushed down by guilt and pain.
He didn't know it hurt you that much.
You took his position and he didn't like it, now he wishes he could turn back time and welcome you in as a sister.
"I-I d-dont"
"Yes you do"
Jungkook wrapped up your wrist and got you a change of clothes for you to fix yourself up in.
He left the bathroom making sure that you were okay.
You locked the door and looked down at the bandages that Jungkook wrapped your wrist in.
He slowly walked down into the living room and didn't say anything.
That night was the first night that you two slept together.

If it made you cry here is a tissue.
*gives tissue* 🤧😭
Hope you enjoyed
•Unedited•
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