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Troye Sivan

I stand out in the cold for twenty minutes, ready to walk back in and cry myself to sleep when he shows up in that obnoxious car of his.

"Get in." He says, unlocking his car.

With my heart in my hands, I open the door and step in. Shivers going down my drunken spine, I look over at the very man I've avoided for the past two years. He looks so different, so much healthier. Filled out and stronger, he's got stuble unlike the last time I saw him and his hair slicked back.

"I-" I choke out, unable to produce words.

"I miss you too." He mutters, pulling out into the boulevard and speeding away.

"That's not what I was going to say." I utter, "Slow down."

He ignores me, only pulling the throttle further.

"Jacob!" I yell as he runs a red light.

"Slow down!" I shout.

My stomach turns and I feel it rise, covering a hand over my mouth.

"Fu- fuck, pull over. Pull over!" I exclaim.

He swerves off the road and into the grass, me pushing the door open and hurling into a bush. I choke up wine and a broken heart, my stomach emptying itself.

"Ah shit." Jacob groans.

"Fuck you." I murmur, wiping my mouth and sitting back in the seat.

"Excuse me?" He asks.

I scoff, "No, fuck you!"

"What kind of person does that?! How could you do that to me?" I cry out.

"Do what? I was only driving." He responds with words of idiocy.

"That's not what I'm talking about, Bixenman." I grumble.

He stretches a hand over his steering wheel and sighs, "I'm sorry, okay."

"You left me for dead... like I was nothing to you." I whisper.

"Was I...? Nothing to you?" I ask, up high and ready to be let down once again. That's where I am. I'm not just in this stranger's car in the Bronx, I'm up high. I'm up on his shelf and he doesn't know how to climb. I'm just up for view, waiting to be let down. And if I fall, I just don't think he's there to catch me. I'm ready to be let down.

"No-o you- you were everything to me. That's why I had to let you go." He gives a shit excuse, "I had you so consumed into me... I just- I couldn't watch myself hurt you."

"You did hurt me, Jacob. You drove me away and left me stranded." I retort.

"I had to!" He yells, hitting his steering wheel and making the car hoot.

"Why?!" I cry.

"Because I love you!"

"Bullshit." I utter, wiping my tears and looking away.

"Screw you, Bixenman." I mutter, "Screw you."

"Troye." He tries.

I step out of the car and slam it shut, walking away just like I knew I would have to. I walk away, the sick taste of disappointment left on my lips.

-

a/n: i cried like a bitch while writing this because of my last breakup lol

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