Forbidden Love .

17_ confessions

lillia P.O.V

I'll ruin Him , i'll be his wreck .

This is the end and i knew it from the beginning . But somehow i can't let go it's really tearing a piece out of my body and that piece is particually my heart .

He stole and i can't deny it anymore . what do you do when you don't wanna hold on but at the same time you can't let go ? , i'm trapped again . the world is doing it again and he is being so unfair to me , why i am the only one who has to sacrifice ? .

and then i remembered Pain is indeed my middle name . Just when i think that the dreams took me far away reality pull me back and slams me hard on the ground .

Since I met alex he was my comfort zone whenever i felt bad but i doubt he will be muck help this time so i found another friend who might help or at least guide me because honestly i can't find my way anymore .

" Just tell something , belle . because silence is killing me and i feel like i'm gonna burst . " , I paused for a minute holding all the tears back . if the tears really wash all the pain i would've cried a river by now , But they just make the pain feel even more real .

" Should i just ignore him so he would understand or should i just go and tell him that this won't work out so we have to stop or should just leave without a word , Belle tell me something please i feel like i'm dying . " , but i can't take it anymore the tears were washing all my face right now , why me ? , this was my only question but then i was just being ungratful to god because he knew better .

I believe in fate and i know that god wrote everyone fate even before we were born and this was meant to happen to there is no escape , no matter how i handle this now it's all gonna hurt . but there is a reason for everything and god know better .

God knows better .

" No , lills . don't you dare to that . do you remember at the very beginnig when you pushed alex aways just for his benefit ? , He almost went mad back then and he just wanted you to be his friend . so you imagine how he will react now if you ignored him and he is in love with you . Listen , i know there is no escape from this and there is nothing you can do . but you can tell him the truth , you can face him . because if you mean to hurt him or you don't , at the end it all hurt the same . i can't believe i'm gonna say this lills . but yoy better hurt him with the truth and don't run away . "

Hurt him with truth , face him .

There is no escape because at the end it all hurt the same , annabelle was right . the truth was the solution . here I am at his door ready to break one of the beautiful things in my life . no matter how this ends i wish he won't walk aways from my life . because my dark life can't live without light anymore .

" Hey , lillia . " , i zoned out i didn't even knew that i knocked the door . Alex mom greeted me with a faint smile , I bet she knew what i was coming for the moment she saw my swollon face .

She didn't like it either , i can tell . we both didn't but deos it matter alex was more important for the both of us , we both puted him first .

After i greeted her , i just wanted to talk with her more . not for bonding but i just wasn't ready to face him . just a little a bit , that was my excuse but will i ever be ready for that ? .

" I'll call alex for you . " , when she disappeared upstairs i wanted to run far away and never come back but my legs were glued to the wooden floor and my heart felt like it belongs here , and when i heard his footsteps , i knew i can't do it . i'll never be able to pull away . i love him so much .

" Hey , beautiful . " , Am i able to let these flirty words go ? , his chessy lines ? , they were like air , they never bothered me in fact they made me fell alive and loved .