All Of The Stars

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Ashton:

I just another and I’m staring at be moon, I saw a shooting star and I thought of you.

Sitting on the roof just admiring the stars and how the moon light up the dark blue sky, I love doing this, I’ve done it ever since I was a young child but its not the same anymore, it’s better when you do it with someone, someone who you love and can share the same love of the stars and the moon and how they can calm you down, how magical they looked, how bright they shone and if you were lucky enough you could see a shooting star, I look up at the clear dark blue sky, the only thing shinning was the moon and the stars  a bright light flying though the sky, I closed my eyes and made a wish, I wished for her to come back to me, the stars reminded me of her, we used to come up here every night and just look at he stars, the shooting stars always reminded me of her and the wishes we both made; to be with each other forever, but you can’t always get what you want, we learned that the hard way, fighting every night for months, she decided that, that was it, she walked out the door on me, she took away my heart with her, she took away the only happiness that I had in my life apart from my band, the only thing was that I wish I fought harder for why we had, it was to good to through away, but for her is wasn’t. I’m not even mad at her, I brought it on my self, the nights where I went out with the guys and coming home early in the morning, I took out all of my stress on her, yelling at her. I missed so many of our dates, she finally gave up on me, she gave up on us, I’m not surprised that she did, sometime I wonder how she put up with me for two years, but I’m glad she did, I just wish she gave us a little more time, it’s hard now, I can’t even see the stars with out thinking of her, everything reminds me of her and I don’t know what to do about, I’ve tried going on dates to get over her, to get out of the hose because the boys were getting worried about me, I wasn’t going out, arriving late or not at all at our recording sessions, but I jut needed my time alone, my heart was in to much pain “but that’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt” and I did feel it, and it hurt like hell  but as they say,  you have to feel pain to know that you are alive right? And we all learn from our mistakes, that’s how we get to be better people, that’s how everyone learns: from someone’s else’s mistakes, if no one made a mistake we wouldn’t know anything, we wouldn’t learn anything new. And I have learnt from my mistake, it hit me like a truck, I’ve lost her probably for forever and that’s something that I have to get used to, it might take me a few more months and maybe even a year or two, dozen incountings with her to get over her, she’s not mine anymore.

Calum:

I sang a lullaby, by the water side and knew,  if you were here I’d sing to you.

Playing acoustic shows for the fans is something that I love and will never get sick of, playing by the waster side just makes it more special but if only she was here, with me, supporting us with every bone that she had in her,  just like she used to, but I can only dream for that to happen again, her holding Ben’s hand, we can both only dream, Ben was standing there with my mum holding his hand, making sure that he doesn’t run away, they both had smiles on their faces which made me smile. “Okay guys i would just like to thank all of you for coming today it means a lot to us. your support means the world to us, as you know these past few months have been really hard for me and the boys and we are forever grateful for your support, we love you guys. This next song is a new one, I wrote this when times were a little hard for all of us, I wasn’t sure about this song but I hope you guys like it, this song is about what happened a few months ago. This ones for you (y/n)”  I looked into the sky hoping that she would be listing from the sky. I look back at Ben and my mum, they were smiling still.  Ben looked so much like his mother and it hurts me that he will never really get to meet her, sometimes I wish it was me who was in the car crash, I was meant to be there, I was meant to pick Ben up from day care but I had to work a little later. I don’t know why I still blame myself after all these mouths, but it’s something that I can’t stop blaming myself for, everyone has told me that it’s not fault, it was the drunk drivers and there was nothing that I can do about it, sometimes I believed them, other times I still blame myself telling them that I should’ve been the one that was in the car not her. We finish the song, I look and see that everyone had tears in their eyes including the boys and myself, but that’s not what made me cry, what made me cry was when we finished the song, I looked up and saw everyone with the a sign that said ‘Were sorry Cal, the whole family is here for you. Love 5SOSFam’. “Okay I just want to thank every single one of you guys, even some of the family that is half way across the world, I’m sorry that we haven’t put out much music lately, I guess we’re all still trying to come to terms with what has happened, you guys have been nothing but supportive of us, you guys are the reason that I get out of bed every morning, I love this job that I do because of the people that we have around us and the family, I just want to thank you guys for not pushing us these last few mouths it means the world to all of us” I say a tear escaping from my eye. “We loved (y/n) as much as you boys, she was apart of the family” I heard a fan yell, I smiled “thank you guys, I love you”.

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