Played For A Fool

Seeing With More Than Eyes

Losing a loved one was a terrible thing, though Cress didn't even feel the sting of her father's death. She hated herself for not caring, but the awful feeling of betrayal was too much for her to stomach. It was the worst feeling in the world; being betrayed by someone you thought you could trust. She had been used and lied to, and it was all for nothing. Her father had never even loved her.

Tears slid down Cress's face, and she sobbed into her hospital issued gown. She had been given a private room where they ran all kinds of tests on her. It had taken them less than an hour to realize that Cress's real problem was nothing that they could treat with medicine and flashing scanners.

The nurses had been gentle with Cress, speaking to her with soft, kind voices. They were treating her for shock and PTSD and wanted to get her into therapy as soon as possible. Cress appreciated the humanity and patience, but she felt guilty receiving it.

Cress almost hated the fact that everyone at the hospital was being so nice. She felt like a monster, something to be locked away forever and hidden from all the innocent people. There was not a single good thing that came from her, and she did not deserve an inch of respect. A person like her warranted the worst kinds of punishment.

It wasn't that Cress had wanted to do any part of her father's schemes, but the fact that she did them. She was a firm believer that a person wasn't what they said, but what they did. Cress had done so many horrible things, even to the people that she loved. She had destroyed everything in her path. She had betrayed her own friends, just like her father had betrayed her.

Sobs wracked Cress' petite frame as she buried her face in her knees. She tried to think of something happy, something positive, but nothing came. She was only sixteen years old and had messed up beyond repair. Life seemed to have no purpose. There was nothing left for Cress to do except be miserable and regret everything she had ever done.

Hair tangled everywhere around Cress, and she pulled it as hard as she could. She hated her long hair and everything it stood for. It reminded her of her father, and how he would never let her cut it. She cuffed her wrists in it, twisting the thick locks of gold tighter and tighter around them. She was like a caged animal, except for instead of bars, there was hair. Nothing was holding her back except for herself.

Terrible whispers entered Cress's mind as she sat on the bed. She wanted it all to end. She didn't want to keep on going after everything she had done wrong. She wanted to be safe and loved. She wanted to be with her mother again.

Cress began to rock back and forth, pulling her hair hard and digging her nails into her palms. She could feel the beginning of a panic attack opening inside her chest, and almost reached for her phone to call Kai. She stopped when she remembered that Kai was with Cinder, waiting to see if she was still alive. She couldn't pull him away from the person he loved. He didn't have time for her. She didn't deserve his kindness or his friendship.

Kai had always been Cress's go-to person whenever her anxiety kicked in. There had been many nights where he had stayed in her room and held her hand as she tried to breathe. He had always been so kind about it, never making a big deal over all the sleepless nights and calling her the next day to check on her without fail. Now he wasn't there.

An ugly sniveling began to work its way inside of Cress, and she let it all out. She had nothing left to lose. No integrity, no pride. She let every emotion that had been eating at her the whole day go, thinking that maybe a good cry wouldn't hurt.

A knock signalled on the open door frame, making Cress jump. "Can I come in?" called a vaguely familiar voice. Cress nodded her head, wiping her eyes on her dress as she did so. No footsteps approached her, and Cress looked up at the figure standing in the door. Her heart stopped.