Alpha Theo || ✓

17 | don't push limits

He wasn't the same after Nina's death, and in the end in cost him both his own life but mother's as well.  

Would I go down the same route as him if something happened to Cardella-- I don't know. 

Her voice break me from my thoughts; "It was just a little run, what's the problem with that?" 

I couldn't help the growl that came out of my mouth, it shook the house and caused Cardella to stumble back with eyes wide-open. 

"The problem is something could have happened to you! And where exactly did you run off to, because your scent wasn't within the territory." I snarled at my little sister-- she knew why she had guards, she knew that she was important yet she chose to disobey me. 

She looked back at the ground, playing with her hands that only told me she was nervous. 

When she didn't answer at first, I let out a low warning growl; "Cardella Hampton." 

"I saw a dear outside of the territory and I went to chase it." My eyes widened in shock and anger, Ella refusing to look at me. 

"Go," I gestured the men behind me to leave, and one by one they filed out of the room. Once they had left, I glared back at Cardella and I could feel my face going hot with rage. 

"Are you a fucking idiot?" I wasn't shouting anymore, my voice was low. "Do you know how dangerous it is on no-man's land?" No-mans land being the land between territory-- and a very dangerous piece of land to be on unguarded.

On no-man's land, it's kill or be killed. There are no rules, there are no leaders to hold any peace that goes on on that land, rogues are scattered around every no-man land there is-- it's somewhat their home as they don't have a pack to go back to. 

Ella looked up at me, her brows furrowed as she narrowed her eyes at me. "Of course I do! I was just hunting for Christ sake!" 

When she tried to move away, I gripped her by her shoulders and pushed her closer. "Do not raise your voice at me!" I shouted, my teeth baring at the disrespect my sister was throwing my way.

As much as I loved her, my wolf demanded respect as did I. 

Ella's eyes widened as she looked at me, there was no doubt in the world that I was red in the face by now.

"You never-- and I mean never-- leave without a guard by with you, that is an order." She visibly gulped as I used my Alpha command on her, I knew she hated it but if it was the only thing to make her listen-- then I would use it how I please. 

I continued; "You know how much the pack cares for you, and how dangerous it is outside for you right now-- do not push the limits Ella." Her eyes flickered down for a moment before she looked back up, nodding her head to me. 

"I'm sorry." I didn't respond, only nodded and turned back around to my office. 

I loved my sister to pieces, but the things she does sets me off. 

This wasn't the first time that she has ditched her guards-- no matter how many times I change her guards, she keeps finding a way to lose them and it drives me insane. 

I'm trying to protect her, but Ella just doesn't get it one bit and she has. She hates how she is always surrounded by guards, how she can never be alone with herself for more than five minutes. I don't know if that's the fault of Alpha Hayden-- for taking Adrian-- or if it was my fault for enlisting the guards. 

I know Ella despises being around so many bodies, watching her every move-- she believed she was a grown woman who could look after herself-- being only nineteen, edging to twenty. She didn't even the dangers there were in the world. 

In a way, she was similar to Holly. They're both the young age of nineteen and neither or them understand how dark the world truly was-- Holly didn't know the true horror her family has caused and Ella, she doesn't even remember her parents and while she knows that they are murdered she doesn't know the extent of it-- she knows almost nothing. 

I sighed as I sat down at my desk in my office, my head falling into my cupped hands as my thoughts were going all over the place.

I should check on Holly, see how she was doing. But first, I needed to see how I was doing. 

I broke down in front of her, I sobbed openly about something I blocked away years ago-- hell I blocked any form of emotion that I could hold many years ago, it was one of the reasons I was called a monster; I was emotionless. 

But with Holly? She hasn't even accepted the bond-- and I didn't know if she ever will-- but she was already breaking every wall I have put up throughout the years. She's already seen me in my raw emotions.

I didn't know how to feel about it all. Was I ready to let the walls fall, was I ready for those emotions to flow back.

I spent years building those walls, I spent most of my life learning how to hide my feelings-- learning how to not feel at all. 

I knew the second I saw Holly that I wasn't going to leave-- that she was mine. But I was ready? Did I want to feel again? Was I ready to feel the pain? 

What if something was to happen to Holly? What if something happened, and I couldn't stop it-- how would I feel then? 

My wolf growled at me for feeling of such things and I wanted to growl at myself as well-- I shouldn't be thinking of the negatives, I shouldn't be thinking of everything that could go wrong with Holly. 

But I couldn't help it. Everything goes wrong in my life.

I lost my parents at the age of six-- I watched them take their last breath. 

I lost someone I didn't even have the chance to meet-- an unborn baby. 

I wasn't even meant to be the Alpha of this pack-- it was originally my brother but our uncle, who was in control of the pack at the time, forced us to  fight of the position. I, obviously, won and that tainted my brother and I's relationship, so in a way I lost that too. 

But now, I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know if my brother was well, or if he was near to death. His mate, Lisa, refuses to speak to anyone and being so far from her mate she gets weaker and weaker as the days go by, which doesn't opt well for Adrian

I didn't know what to do if my brother ended up with the same fate as our parents.

I didn't know how to feel. 

And in all honestly I was afraid to feel. Funny that is?

The big bad Alpha was afraid to feel.

________________________________________

Welcome back! I had a very long time out, just living new university life but first year is officially over which means more time to publish and write (which I always go back to doing!) So here is the long-waited chapter, only took 10 months to post oopsies.

From now on (hopefully) I shall be continuing to follow the update schedule that can be found on my profile bio (every Sunday) and posting weekly on this story once again! 

If anyone would like to recommend me any stories (any genre) please do so in my inbox! I wouldn't mind livening up my reading list again.

THIS CHAPTER HAS NOT BEEN PROOFREAD NOR EDITED.