Lift // Hamliza

• chapter 44 •

• Eliza •

I pulled into the driveway, noticing that Angelica and John's cars were here. Wonderful. I sat in the car for a minute, fearing what would happen when I went inside.

I opened the door quietly, praying they wouldn't hear or see me. I looked up and on the couch waiting for me was John, Angelica, and Peggy, all with angry and disappointed looks on their faces. Angelica spoke up first.

"Where the hell have you been and why haven't you answered us? We called and texted hundreds of times! We were worried sick, where did you disappear to?" She asked, fire blazing in her dark eyes.

"Eliza, we were really worried about you." John said softly, looking more upset than angry. My head spins in guilt. What have I done? Peggy doesn't say anything, just glares at me and shakes her head harshly.

"I'm so sorry... I was at a friends house and I fell asleep..." I lied only partially, not saying who the "friend" was.

"You fell asleep at 8:15 pm? Yeah right. What were you doing? Who were you with?" Angie interrogated. I drew in a breath.

"No, I wasn't asleep. I was with Maria... we were hanging out and I didn't have my phone on..." I said, walking closer to the couch, trying to apologize with my actions and the underlying tone in my voice.

"Well next time, don't do that, okay?" Peggy said roughly, still glaring. I nodded guiltily and asked another question.

"How's Alex?" John gave me a look this time, as if to say, you disappear without even saying goodbye and then ask about Alex, who was worried to death? How could you!

"He was so torn up about you. I don't think you understand what you put him through last night. He's in the hospital for mental issues including anxiety and he has cancer, and he's busy worrying about you. When he woke up, he asked for you first. And what did I have to tell him? I had to say, 'we don't know where she went. She told us she was going home but she isn't there.' The reason he called you and texted the least was because he had to stop after he had a freaking panic attack, which I had to help him out of for the second damn time that day. Honestly Eliza, I thought you were better than this, I thought you cared." John spat.

I looked down at my hands, feeling like I'd been slapped in the face. John never acted like this, not even when he was furious. He must be enraged right now.

"I'm so sorry guys." I mumbled, still looking down.

"Well, sorry doesn't always cut it. We've done enough, you have to fix this now. You need to talk to Alex." Peggy said, arms still crossed. I nodded, but secretly felt the anxiety rise in me. I've been cheating on him for the past few weeks, kissing and making out and having sex with someone else. How could I even apologize without spilling everything and breaking his heart?

"Okay." I finally replied, leaving once more to go to the hospital for what felt like the millionth time.

I drove shakily, feeling my world turning and teetering. I wanted to throw up in fear. Oh God, oh my God. I pulled into the parking lot and walked briskly to the wing Alex was in. I drew in a shaky breath as I stood outside his closed door and knocked gently, hoping secretly that he wouldn't answer.

"Come in." I heard him say. His voice sounded raw and torn apart, like he'd been screaming or talking a lot or crying.

I hesitantly pushed the door open and peeked my head in, not knowing if he'd even want to see me.

"Betsey." He breathed, looking upset but also relieved. I nodded and pushed my hair behind my ear as I walked in.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered, kissing his chapped lips gently. I felt so wrong. Twelve hours ago I was doing this same thing with Maria, kissing her.

"Where did you go? Why did you do that to me?" He asked, pulling away from the kiss with sad eyes.

"Maria called me on my way home. She wanted to hang out and I didn't think anything of it. I feel so bad, I should've been here with you when you woke up." I explained, changing my story slightly. He sighed and rubbed his temples, obviously trying to hide the fact that his migraines were getting worse.

"I just feel like... you're drifting so far away from me. Even right after Thanksgiving before all this started, you were all weird with me. What's going on? Are you cheating on me or something?" He said. I felt my heart drop all the way to my stomach. He hit the nail right on the head. Oh my God, what do I say?

"I'm sorry... I've just been worried about you and everything and you didn't seem like you wanted to be smothered by me. I don't blame you but yeah." I said, avoiding the question he was asking me, which he caught on to.

"Eliza, you never answered my question. Are you cheating on me?" He begged, hurt starting to fill his eyes. I waited a beat too long, making it obvious (at least, to myself) that I was lying.

"No." I lied. Alex just shook his head, his face contorting in pain.

"Do you think I'm stupid? Just because I'm in the hospital or I have cancer that you have to lie to me? Eliza, I take debate, I grew up with a pathological liar for a father. And who's clothes are those anyway? What proof can you give me that you aren't cheating? Where's your phone, huh?" He said, grabbing my hands. I shook my head, feeling again like I was going to puke. I couldn't keep it a secret anymore. He knows.

"No, I don't think you're stupid..." I said weakly in response. There was nothing I could do now.

"Elizabeth, give me your phone." He demanded, cold anger and sadness written all over his face. I shook my head, not wanting him to know.

"Eliza!" He yelled, his voice breaking. I took out my phone and threw it down on the bed, tears filling my eyes from everything that was happening. He scrolled through texts until I finally saw him click on Maria's contact.

M: hey girly.. how're you? I haven't seen you in a few days, all I wanna do is kiss your pretty little face and have some fun ;)

He looked up at me and continued to read more of Maria's messages.

M: i had so much fun tonight. you're so good at giving me the best kind of pleasure baby. I hope you had fun too. Can't wait to do it again soon! <3

He scrolled to the most recent one, which had come through on my way home from her place a little bit ago. I had already replied.

M: you're so damn gorgeous. I can't believe how good you are in bed. Kissing you makes me so so happy. I love you

E: I had a great time, it really got rid of all my worries and problems. And you're ten times more beautiful than I am sooo.. <3 xoxoxo

"Oh. So I'm a problem now, just something that's so damn hard to deal with? Well I'm so sorry that I just HAD to get cancer, it's all totally fine. I can't even believe you." He laughed humorlessly, hurt in his eyes. I felt tears well in mine as he handed my phone back and looked away.

"You know, I was so in love with you. I still am, even after all this. I thought you loved me too. But after all this? From what I can see, you've been meeting up with her for nearly a month. You've been kissing her and you two have had sex at least six times based on these texts." He said. I finally let the tears fall.

"I'm sorry, I-" I began but he cut me off.

"No. You're not sorry. If you were, you would've pushed her away when she kissed you. Or you wouldn't have kept going to her. Here's what's going to happen now. I'm done with you. I love you with all of my heart but until I'm not mad at you anymore, we're through. It might take a few days, it might take a few weeks, it might even take a few months. But when I feel you deserve to have me again, you will. And we're doing the competition if I'm fine by then, whether we're together or not. I just can't believe all of this." He said harshly. He didn't let any tears fall but I could see them glistening in his eyes.

"Okay." I said, hearing my voice crack.

"Go." He mumbled. And so I did. I ran out to my car as I sobbed, taking in everything he'd said and wondering how I could be so stupid to cheat on such an amazing person like him.

What the hell have I done?