Lift // Hamliza

• chapter 46 •

• Alexander •

Over the next two weeks, little by little, I began to forgive Eliza.

She only visited once in those two weeks, because Peggy and Angelica wouldn't let her come any other time. She came to me crying, begging softly for forgiveness at my bedside. This was a week and a half after she admitted to cheating. I shook my head then but told her,

"Someday soon. I'm still upset and you need to earn my trust, but soon." She seemed content with that.

But for the most part, I didn't think about her. I thought about dancing and how I wasn't allowed to leave this stupid hospital.

All I did, every single day, was complete the lessons and schoolwork for that given day, read for a while, and write. Sometimes I'd go on my phone but with everyone else at school, what was the point of texting?

A lot of times I wouldn't feel up to doing anything. I would feel so sick and so in pain. I started chemotherapy about a week ago and now I was in the in between. My hair hadn't fallen out yet, nothing had gotten worse, but then again it didn't get better.

All I wanted to do was get out of the bed and go home. I wanted to go to the dance studio and feel free again. I wanted to not be in pain for longer than the thirty seconds I had upon waking up.

I suppose the good thing about being somewhere like this was that I had no choice but to stop cutting. I was supposed to go to that mental wing but upon the discovery of my cancer, they'd changed that. Now I have to sit with a therapist for an hour or two every day and talk. How long we talked depended on how bad I felt - emotionally - that day. A lot of our sessions went for two hours or longer.

Currently, I was in getting my vitals taken while John waited outside the door. School had ended about twenty minutes ago.

The nurse scribbled something down on a clipboard and smiled at me before walking away.

"Looks like everything's good for now. And, from all of us who work with you, we're proud. You've been so kind to everyone despite what you have to deal with." She said, opening the door. I forced a smile and thanked her.

I was always nice to the doctors and nurses, whether or not I was in a good mood or a bad one. They were all doing their jobs and trying to help me get better. Being nice is the least I can do. John entered the room with a smile on his face and a stack of movies. Finally, something to do besides sit and stare at the wall.

John had probably been the most helpful so far. Since he was my best friend, I could always call him and he'd never hesitate to visit. Except during school. I knew how important education is so I didn't call him during school. But I'm pretty sure he'd find a way to show up anyway. He's just that kind of friend.

"So, you said the other day that you had nothing to do for like, four hours everyday, so I brought a ton of movies. Actually, I went to everyone's houses and told them to give me a couple each so I guess I kinda stole them from everyone. But it's cool!" He said, laughing as he set the stack down on the table.

"Thanks. How's everything with everybody going? What about school?" I asked. He was used to these questions by now.

"Herc and Laf still spend all of lunch eating each other's faces more than their food, Peggy and Angie had a food fight again, and Eliza..." he trailed off. Even though Eliza was becoming a less and less sensitive topic, he still always asked my permission before talking about her. I nodded and he continued.

"Eliza showed us a design for another dance she's working on. She still seems so out of it though. You can tell not being with you is tearing her apart." He said softly.

"I'm trying to forgive her. I want to, and it's right there, it's so close, but I need just a little more time. I just have to wait for it." I said. I really did want to forgive her. She needed it and so did I.

"But anyways, how have you been? We talk about me and everyone else way too much. You never talk about you." I said, changing the topic of conversation. It's true, John never talks about himself when he's here. It's mostly spent trying to convince me that I was going to get better and all the antics at school.

He sighed and started to speak.

"My dad's been pretty rough lately. Getting drunk more often, yelling. There's no hitting though, so I guess that's a good thing. He just yells all the time. And calls me names, but I can deal with that I guess. Oh, and André and I broke up the other day." He said. I felt anger build up inside of me when he mentioned his father.

Henry Laurens is, simply put, a fucking asshole. He has a past (which I've learned from John) of verbal abuse and being an alcoholic. Things have never escalated to physical abuse, but I was always scared for John when he'd come to me with a new story of his father screaming insults at him.

But the anger was replaced with shock when he mentioned his breakup. Laurens and André, or as we called them, John Squared, has been together for five or so months. They were so cute together! What could've happened?

"You broke up with André?" I asked, wondering if I'd heard correctly. He nodded.

"Yeah. I didn't really feel the spark anymore. Neither did he, I guess. But we split on good terms and we're still friends. It seems to be working out better that way." He explained. I nodded, still surprised.

"Well, that's good I guess. Now both of you are happy, I hope?" I asked. He nodded with a smile and picked up a movie.

"Yeah, but I can't for long. The therapist comes in half an hour." He put the movie in the DVD player and we sat next to each other, him in an uncomfortable hospital chair and me in a bed, hooked to tons of machines and wires.

Sure enough, twenty eight minutes later a knock sounded at the door and John got up to open it. The therapist walked in with a clipboard as per usual. John hugged me and urned the movie off, saying goodbye and telling me to call if I needed anything.

"So Alex, how are you?"