c h a p t e r 2 3

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You know those days when you wake up and you just want to go back to bed straight away because you know something bad was going to happen.

Well, it was one of those days.

I pushed the feeling away and got out of bed and got ready for the day. I dressed in a little yellow sunflower dress and did my hair in a half up half down hairstyle. Noah said it was his favourite.

I started putting on some make up lightly when my phone beeped. My heart leaped excitedly and thought of Noah instantly.

That was all shattered pretty quickly when Alicia's name flashed on the screen. She only texted me whenever she wanted me to do a chore at home or attend to her needs. Which explains why I haven't heard from her in the past month because I wasn't around for her to boss about.

My heart sunk when I opened the message.

My heart began to race and I could feel an anxiety attack coming up

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My heart began to race and I could feel an anxiety attack coming up. I brought myself back to when I sat in my school counsellor's office and she taught me how to count my breaths on my own if I ever felt this way.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Again.

Once I could think clearly again, I quickly finished putting mascara on and didn't bother with the rest. I threw on an oversized grey hoodie over thick black leggings and grabbed my nearest Converses. Throwing my hair into the messiest bun possible I ran out to the hallway, still careful to not wake Jasmine up. Thankfully people still were in their rooms at this time and I didn't get caught up having to talk to anyone. I don't think my heart could handle it. It was already beating so fast and my hands were trembling. I already felt nauseous in my stomach.

My mind was working in overdrive, walking down the Main Road trying to find the McDonald's Alicia was talking about. I passed the Diner that Noah took me too and my stomach dropped. I was scared of what I was about to walk into.

Finally, I reached the McDonald's and walked inside. Straight away I noticed Alicia sitting with Stacey in their over obnoxious bright outfits and chemical smelling fake tan, of course, covered up by an excessive amount of perfume. They sat silently in a corner booth, out of the way from the rest of the restaurant, with no one sitting nearby. I made my up to them and sat in the seat opposite them. Stacey looked smug with her arms crossed over her chest and an all-knowing smirk on her face. Alicia just looked as is she was disappointed. Disappointed that she was given the role of having to raise me as one of her daughters. Disappointed in me in general.

I clenched my hands into fists, my fingernails were digging into the palms of my hands before I muttered, "What do you want?"

Alicia finally smirked, "I want you to break up with your so-called boyfriend," She stated.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I stupidly stated.

Stacey rolled her eyes before Alicia actually chuckled, "Oh sweetie, I think you do. Otherwise, why would you be here? If you need a reminder, I have a crystal clear photo on my phone. A picture speaks a thousand words don't you think."

Stacey giggled at her mother before saying to me, "Didn't know you would be whoring yourself out to win a TV show, I didn't think you would actually stoop that low, although I should have expected it." She looked down at me, both of them did, with judgment evident in their eyes. I wanted to scream and I wanted to shout. I wanted to throw their half skim, half soy Frappuccino's in their artificially perfect faces.

Stacey's words were added to the collection of insults. A collection that was seeded deep in my brain that embedded every insult I copped from her, Bianca and Alicia, not to mention all of their friends from school, which was pretty much the entire grade. Their words that they spit so easily from their mouths in anger and hatred had chiseled at my heart bit by bit, slowly breaking it to pieces until I had snapped. I shouldn't have been surprised by this point. But I couldn't explain why my heart was now hurting. Again.

"She can't even speak up for herself, how pathetic," Stacey muttered.

Alicia pushed my phone towards me, "Now this is exactly what is going to happen. You are going to call Noah and tell him that you no longer want to be with him anymore. I don't care what excuse you make. Otherwise, I will have a chat with every dean in this goddamn country, every college that you try to apply for I will ensure that you will not step through their doors and you can stay at home with me."

I resisted the urge to cry. My nose stung and I could feel my eyes begin to water but I held the waterworks back. It was the same threat every time. College. I would be able to find a scholarship somewhere, hopefully. Maybe, I could just keep where I apply a secret. Her threats were weak and I was over it. I opened my mouth ready to speak up for myself for the first time in my life.

"Not to mention, this little scandal will damage Noah James' bad boy reputation. Him hanging out with a loser like you. He'll lose everything he's worked hard for just because you were too selfish for once in your life to do something for another person," Alicia lectured.

I closed my mouth. I couldn't let anything bad happen to Noah. He worked so goddamn hard to get where he was. He didn't need this drama, this scandal getting out. He deserved the world and my baggage would just hold him back. Not to mention, his father had high expectations of him, even with this show. I didn't want to be the reason why his father would be disappointed in him; I wouldn't ruin their relationship. He deserved so much better.

I felt a tear trickle down my cheek as I stared down at the table, "Ok," I whispered.

I picked up my phone and dialed his number. I felt another teardrop. And another. Alicia and Stacey looked freaking ecstatic.

"Good morning baby girl," His husky morning voice made my heart break that little more.

"Noah," I whispered longingly, I saw Alicia cross her arms in front of her chest and made a pointed look. I cleared my throat and tried again, "Noah, I can't do this anymore," I couldn't hold my sob back anymore either and I tried to hide it from the phone.

"Baby, are you ok? What's going on?" He asked, sounding suddenly awake and alert.

"I can't do this Noah, us. Whatever was happening it's over," I whispered firmly while my heart shattered to pieces again.

"What the hell are you saying Taylor," He growled.

I let out a tiny sob before covering my mouth, "I'm sorry for leading you on, goodbye Noah," I stated firmly but quietly.

"Taylor, don't you dare hang -," I pressed end call quickly not able to hear any more. The pain in his voice was unbearable.

I stared at the table in silence as Alicia and Stacey stood up laughing. "I expect now that you will make sure that Bianca wins. Or else." Alicia declared before stalking off with Stacey trailing behind.

I buried my head in my hands and let out the sob I was trying to hold in for so long.

Goodbye Noah. 

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