Lifeless (Sequel to Soulless - Justin Bieber Love Story / Fan Fiction)

FIFTEEN

super model by role model

My heart was hammering in my chest so loud that I thought the both of us could hear it. I knew Justin and I were going to have a serious conversation that night, but I didn't expect it to be about Kayla. Her barging in so un-welcomed threw both Justin and I for a loop. Neither of us could have predicted it.

Regardless, I could sense his sympathy towards me as we ate dinner at the table in silence. He continued to look up at me every few minutes or so as if to check on me and make sure I didn't break down into tears. I wasn't going to, but I understood why he thought so. Then again, he knew me better than to let things like that bother me. It wasn't the names I was called, it was the part I didn't tell him. It was the part about us never being able to be together.

I wasn't very hungry. My appetite was nearly nonexistent. The deafening silence between us didn't help, either.

"Are you all done?" I asked softly once I noticed his plate was clean. He nodded, and I took his plate with my own and brought it into the kitchen.

"Thank you for making dinner," he called from the table as I put the plates in the sink, then began running the water. "You didn't have to do that."

I smiled a little, reaching for the dish soap and sponge as I began washing our plates. "No problem."

It was quiet again, much like it was for the previous hour. Even though I hated it, I didn't know what to say. I felt like I had shut down internally, and there was no fixing it at that moment. I needed a few hours alone, and I'd get over it. The next day, it wouldn't mean anything. It would be like it never happened. Unfortunately, that was my way of coping with a lot of things. Acting like they never happened may not have been healthy, but it worked.

I timidly washed the dishes, waiting for Justin to get up and go to the study or to his room, or anywhere else for that matter. I had a feeling the rest of the night was going to be much like the last: dead silent. Although it was almost becoming unbearable, I had no motivation to mend it.

As the sponge moved beneath my hand moved in a circular motion, I was slightly startled by two hands finding either side of me on the countertop. There was no touching, but the abrupt closeness between Justin and myself caused me to feel such warmth that I hadn't experienced in a long time. A feeling came over me that had been so lacking, and I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't stop the feeling even if I wanted to.

I didn't retaliate.

Instead, I reached for the hand towel next to the faucet once I let go of the plate. Justin was aware that I saw him, and neither of us were sure if his motive. He probably didn't know where he was going with his actions, and planned to just go with the flow. He acted on what he felt, and I envied that part of him. That was obvious.

My breath was caught in my throat. I bit down on my lip as he slowly, and very hesitantly, moved in closer until I felt the front of him ever so lightly brushing my back. I breathed in, enveloped in his scent. I closed my eyes next, not caring exactly what his intentions were. We were close again, and I felt safe.

His hands gently trembled as he reached around me, eventually pushing through the doubts he may have had and wrapped his arms around me completely. It brought him close to me, so much closer than we had been in so long, and I felt like he was right where he was supposed to be.

I didn't let go of the towel in my hands. My eyes stung, overwhelmed by the feeling of his touch. It was so random and completely unexpected, but it was so appreciated and so heartfelt. Even as he squeezed me a little tighter and lay the side of his head on top of mine, I felt myself at a loss for words.