HIS FAVORITE GINGER ✓

FORTY-SIX.

....don't wanna kiss don't wanna touch, just smoke my cigarette and hush...

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Grayson

My stride down the gloomy hallway of the renowned St. Tobias Hospital was woebegone to say the least, as it had always been since the past weeks. The glum doctors, cleaners, nurses, patients, patients and people, colour, atmosphere seem to catalyse the misery, the pain and believe me, it's painful when I say it. I just keep coming here like I'm enchanted, like I'm under an informidable cantrip and the antidote is just the littlest hint of hope;which I was losing, and fast.

It has been seven weeks with all the get-well-soon balloons, all the coupons from the flower shop, the wasting of expensive motor gas that I don't mind, the gloominess at home, Freya's incessant nocturnal sobbing. It has been seven weeks now since Alejandro was hit, since he fell into a dreadful coma and haven't woken yet.

The doctors know me well; the ruthful boyfriend who keeps tearing into their office, aggressively demanding a solution-thereby earning ejection by the security-even though he pretty much knows there's nothing much they could do. The nurses know me by now; probably hate my guts too that they have to clean up continually wilting flower junk and deflated balloons. I can't say the same for the cotton-candy man who has taken quite a liking to me.

"Three banana cones, my good sir." My plastic cheeriness smelled despondent, tasted despondent. But they say smiling often prolongs age-that is if I haven't been stocking up on ice-cream and binge-eating my despair for the past seven weeks.

The albino elder bared his teeth-its color duller than her skin-into a warm smile. He handed me the fluffy food and as I handed him the bill, he shook his head.

"It's on the house."

I shook my head and extended it, "I can't accept this." I insisted. It breaks my heart seeing senior citizens selling on the streets when their mates are merrily living the last moments of life in some retirement home or something. And now, accepting free stuff and probably shortening their business is just unacceptable.

"I insist. And I know you seek something. Your heart is heavy with every exit you take in this hospital. I've seen a lot of people like you and I pray you see what you seek."

As much as that sounded ultra-stalkerish, I was dumbfounded. Nevertheless, I accepted his offer-painfully-and thanked him earnestly.

Plopping into the seat of my jeep, I let out a big sigh like I've been running an Olympic marathon. Running my fingers through my hair and my teeth through the cotton candy, my mind and heart wandered to a dangerously miserable zone. They've been doing that so often and it's almost stoppable. And they seem to bring back tears as souvenirs.

I extinguished a single teardrop from my cheek with the heel of my palm and stared ahead till my phone rang. I tiredly glanced at it, wanting so hard to ignore it during my quiet, emotional time-if it wasn't from Freya.

"Yes?"

"Where are you right now?"

I cringed at her volume. "What the-, you're gonna deafen me now?"

"I said where the fuck are you?!"

Oh my god, okay. This is serious. I can't possibly tell her I'm at the hospital. She's unaware of her son and I's chemistry and the balloons and flowers and shit were labelled anonymous.

"My friend's."

"Call me when you get to the hospital because we are coming there right now."