The fake girlfriend deal. ||BEING HEAVILY EDITED||

26~Unlovable (edited)

   "Morning." Bianca smiles softly at me from across the kitchen where she was pouring cereal.

  "Before you make that," I set the bags down on the counter, "See if you want that first."

   I turn to the stairs to see Yuna walking down just in time. She's dressed in a brown tank top and black shorts, her hair shoved back with a green headband. She smiles sleepily over at me and looks out the windows. "You woke up early today."

    "Yeah." I wrap an arm around her, my body urging me to pull her closer to me, to have her in both of my arms and have her safe with me. "Needed some fresh air, I got breakfast by the way."

           "So, the therapist thinks I should tell the officials at my old high school what Michael did to me, as a way to get it out and not bottle it up- and in case he's done this to someone else." Bianca leans into Hayes at the kitchen bar, also trying to get as close to him as I was getting to Yuna. 

       "That's not a bad idea." Yuna grabs a banana nut muffin and grins up at me, mouthing her gratitude before turning back to Bianca. "What do you think though? You don't have to do anything you're not ready for."

            Sometimes I genuinely wonder how Yuna could be so smart, so sweet and understanding with others, but then judge herself for still being affected by her past. Not once has she judged Bianca for being hurt by her assault, and yet Yuna blames herself constantly for "not getting over it quick enough."

        Bianca's blonde hair falls into her face when she looks down at her hands. "I really don't want to do it, but I think there are more benefits than risks. It makes sense to do it... I just... Don't want to." 

     "And you don't have to." Hayes answered sharply, he's fiercely protective over Bianca, and I can tell this is eating him up inside too. 

   "but..." Bianca groaned. "Part of me wants to. I'd like to get it off of my chest, tell everyone I wasn't this wicked seductress who convinced him to cheat on his girlfriend, that I'm not a slut. But... The other part of me can't think of anything worse than have to go through it again."   

   Yuna shifts, I notice her hand gently tracing the scar on her thigh. Her jaw was tensing up, and her eyes slowly growing vacant. I reach out and take her hand, squeezing it gently. 

    "I know what you mean." Yuna smiles sadly. She finishes her muffin and excuses herself outside, to which I follow.

       She makes it to the dock, going out over the ocean. I keep my distance but watch as she slides down to the floorboards of the dock. She pulls her knees to her chest and buries her face in them, taking slow breaths. 

          I sit down a few feet to her right. "What can I do?"

 "I wanna be there for her." Yuna draws in a shuttering breath, "I want to be able to listen and help but it's- it's just... Even though we're talking about her, all I can think about is him. The- his hands, his voice."

              "You're not obligated to listen to it." I say gently, there's nothing more I want to do than grab Yuna and hug her, but I know that's probably the worst thing I can do right now. She doesn't need another man's hands on her. "Yunes, we all understand. Okay? You don't have to listen, especially if it's making you anxious."

   "But I don't want to be so selfish all the time, it's not always about me." She lifted her head and her tears glisten in the sunlight, tearing at something primal in me. I suddenly want to hit everything in sight, I want to find Austin and tear him limb from limb, peel his skin off and electrocute him with wires around his tongue. I want to take Yuna and every person like her and keep them safe, I want to gladly kill anyone who ever once thought that these actions are okay.

  It's terrifying, what I would do for this girl.

    "Yunes, you're the most selfless person I know. You helped Bianca out without even knowing her, you've trusted Hayes despite having reasons to never trust anyone again. You've given me chances after chances when I didn't deserve them. You're not selfish at all."

     I take in a breath and look at the sky, "I wish you could see you the way I do. You'd never utter a bad word about yourself ever again."

     Yuna sniffled again, "God, I wish I was tough like those girls on TV. I want to know how to fight and grit my teeth and be strong. I'm so tired of being weepy all the time." 

     "Trust me, gritting your teeth doesn't help much." I chuckle bitterly. 

 "Have you thought about what you're gonna write to Marc yet?" She changes the subject and doesn't even try to be smooth about it. Wow, she really is panicking. 

     "I think I've put a little too much thought into it." Raking a hand through my hair, I let a tense laugh out, "There's so much to hate him for... But... I don't wanna continue that cycle. I just want it to be over. I want to forgive him and for it to be over."

   Yuna's hand gently runs over my cheek, drawing my attention back to her. Her wide teary eyes are tilted on the end from her smile. "I think that's a great idea."