Captain America and Bucky Barnes Imagines

97. BUCKY: Hello Darkness

A/N:

This was requested by Fusnif a little while ago. I really hope you like this: it was a bit out of my comfort zone, but I tried REALLY hard and am REALLY hopeful that you like it! Let me know, sweetie!

I'm working in chronological order with the requests. If anyone requested anything it'll be up soon, I promise! I have six more, unfinished, but they're all in the works.

Thank you all so, so much! We've hit 12K reads and I'm so grateful for all of your comments, votes, and reads! I adore writing for all of you amazing people! Lots of love :)

Winnie

Words: 4.6K

Darkness has a funny way of changing things: changing people. It's certainly changed you since you joined the Avengers team a few years ago. You'd been plucked from your everyday life and thrusted into this crazy world of aliens and Infinity stone-wars after being discovered hiding away in a rural town as an enhanced human.

Darkness likes to burrow down into the soul—inhabiting whatever form of life it crawls upon next. The lack of light you see in your world now has led to the growth of darkness within you. It manifests like a weed deep in your chest. It's gotten far too large to simply pluck it away now. You've seen too much death and despair to truly be free of it now.

You're stuck in darkness, and you can't see enough to know how to get out.

You suspect that you're not alone in the shadows. The assumptions of the rest of the team fighting their own demons has been proven true time and time again. The hollow look in Steve's eyes when he sees something flashing too fast on TV. Nat's emotionless voice she keeps on her for days after coming back to base after an especially bad mission. Banner's disappearance and then reemergence as someone much quieter and less confident than before. Tony's breakdowns: followed by him locking himself in his lab for days on end with no sign of eating or drinking or even sleep being reported. Sweet, sweet Wanda tiptoeing into your room at night to cry into your shoulder.

Bucky Barnes being impossibly mean to you.

You realize it sounds juvenile to admit, but the man has been nothing but nasty to you in the past few months. It all started with a botched mission in Pakistan. You'd been set up as partners because of your complimentary skills—his fighting style and your invisibility trickery—and ultimately ended up screaming at each other over a disagreement that led to the loss of five civilian lives. The news stations reported it as a freak accident. You and the rest of the team know the truth: you and Bucky couldn't agree on a tactic, and the whole mission went to hell.

It's been since that day that the man has been cold, shady, and ignorant towards you. And it kills you inside: it really, truly does. Why does it hurt so much? Because, for a while, you looked at Bucky Barnes as one of the only sources of light in your life. He was funny—he'd tell off-putting jokes that always made Steve annoyed.  Bucky is a good man. After he came back from Wakanda and joined the original team again he's been... different. More human—less monster. While the two of you were never especially close, you'd been partners on enough missions and stakeouts to know his favorite color and how adorable his genuine smile can be.

You thought maybe you were finally moving on from your dead boyfriend when you caught feelings for Bucky. You'd taken a pause in crying yourself to sleep at night imagining the last moments of Pietro again and again... and started to actively move your mind towards the most positive images of Bucky. It was a silly crush, maybe, but it offered you some light.

And now Bucky Barnes hates you.

Blanket wrapped around your shoulders you shuffle out of the elevator towards the kitchen. Its Sunday breakfast at the Avengers' base. You can hear chattering from out in the hall as you near the sweet smelling place. You paint a smile onto your tired, aching face as you enter.