i n s a n e .

o n e .

my name is rose. rose daze. im 17 years old.

you know that one kid who is always sad, who wears black to hide from everyone, and is just down right depressed?

yeah...thats me.

at 15 years old...i remember i was cutting in my bathroom when my mom walked in asking if i wanted dinner.

she took me to the doctor and i was diagnosed with depression.

ive tried committing before. 4 out of 6 times someone has caught me.

i am just fucking sick of it, y'know?

well, im from northern california. i have brown eyes, long dark brown hair, im ugly, and fat, and annoying, and mean, and stupid...well the list goes on and on.

everyone says im pretty, but i know that it is only so i stop cutting, but when the hell does that work?

its stupid really.

i mean everything seems so pointless. why should i be here to make people "happy" when i am not happy at all.

"stay strong rose!" i hear that everyday, and it is complete bullshit. ive never been strong emotionally and physically. i know im never gonna be. but i deserve to be happy. i do!

well i should probably start with this now.

okay then.

sorry if i bore the shit out of you and make you sad.

it happens a lot, i wont be surprised.

• • •

there i was, standing in my bathroom again with a razor on my wrist. 4 bloody cuts had been made on each wrist.

then once again the door opens. "darling would yo-oh my..." i looked up to see my mom. once again she was "heartbroken"

"rose trinity daze, you need to stop...doing this. are you doing this for attention?"

i didnt say anything. i just looked at her and took all the comments she said to me.

"that is it rose...you are unstable and you need help. im putting you in a mental hospital."

my eyes almost popped out of my head.

"mom i think you mean the hospital...not the mental hospital thats for the crazy people."

"no i mean mental hospital."

"but im not crazy!" i cried out.

"oh sweetheart. you need help."

"then take me to the hospital! take me to therapy! a support group! inpatient treatment home?"

"rose. mental hospital. i dont know what made you depressed. but it has gotten way too far."

"i hate you!" i screamed at her as i felt a tear stream down my cheek.

"you dont mean that sweetheart"

"YOU ARE PUTTING YOUR DAUGHTER IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL. OF COURSE I FUCKING HATE YOU! IM DEPRESSED AND YOU ARE ONE OF THE MANY MANY REASONS. I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"

"rose! language!"

"THATS WHAT YOU SAY! AFTER THAT. YOU SAY LANGUAGE. REALLY? NO CONCERN..."

"rose you need to calm down!"

"AND YOU NEED TO SHUTUP!"

"rose. car. now." she said looking me straight in the eye.

"no..."

she yanked my wrist and dragged me into the car.

next thing you know we were in the parking lot of the mental hospital.

she got out of the car.

i slowly walked out also, looking at the rusted old building.

then i heard a loud scream from inside that morphed into a laugh.

and it scared the living shit out of me.

as we walked through the front door a woman stopped us.

"im sorry youre not allowed to b-"

"she needs to be in here" mom said pointing to me.

the woman looked at me.

"um okay. well you uh follow me and we will get her in but she needs to go with john over here."

i looked to a scary looking black man who dragged me by the wrist.

down the long hallway of rusted doors we went. with screaming, and pounding, and a few hands reaching out on the way.

i wasnt meant for this place...

• • •

hi hey so yeah. 1st chapter. well my name is mia and if you like this you can comment or vote or nothing i guess whatever floats your boat.

this has no inspiration i literally just thought of this idea at like 12:00 am while listening to all i want. wow okay nice job mia you suck.

{ im not a writer so sorry if this sucked }