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I'm ok.

I just have fingernail imprints in the skin of my knee cap from where I was trying to keep myself together. 

Being that close to him like that... 

it set me on fire. 

I could smell the coffee on his breath...

Whenever I smell coffee, I think of him because I can smell his coffee in the air every morning. 

It doesn't hurt, though...none of this hurts...that's what I don't understand. Every crush comes with pain...or else, why would it be called a 'crush'? Love comes with hate and hurt and heartache. But I'm stuck in this little place where everything is warm and cozy and I can still get out of bed every morning even on days when he doesn't look at me. Or talk to me. 

So, I'm ok. 

Emotionally and mentally...

It's more physical pain this time, because, well, fingernails hurt...