Hideaway [h.s]

149

I'm always eating, and stuff I never usually touch. I was craving fast food at the mall, I was eating things like pizza for breakfast, I ate that giant sandwich Niall made me with just meat and barbecue sauce. I'm literally the definition of a woman with weird food cravings. Not to mention certain foods have been turning me off, like when I made Harry pancakes for his birthday or when the thought of eating corn made me sick.

"And with being only over three months pregnant, you really don't show that much. Now every woman is different, and you may not even show until five months if anything. As from your ultrasound, the baby is looking very healthy. Your stress levels are high, so try to calm yourself down a bit in the future with everything." She instructs.

I have no idea I was pregnant for these past three months. I never restricted myself from anything that could be bad for the baby. At that party, I drank. It was only a shot, but it was still alcohol. I was in a car accident, I was burned by a knife. All of these things could've effected this baby to the point where in surprised I didn't loose it.

"I consumed a bit alcohol. Does that change anything?" I whisper.

"When?" She asks.

"It was a while ago, not really sure how long." I murmur.

"Well although alcohol is not good for the baby when your pregnant, having a small amount of it early in your first trimester won't hurt it. You should be fine." She informs me while a warm smile.

I feel so lost, I don't know where to go from here. Harry has barely said a thing because I know he's devastated. He made it very clear that he doesn't want children. And coincidentally, we happen to have this conversation the night he knocked me up. I feel shocked, scared, and completely unsure of what to do next.

"Would you like to see the ultrasound?" The doctor asks quietly, trying to read my expression.

I need proof that their is actually a thing growing inside of me.

"P-please." I whisper with a faint voice.

She turns the screen to face me, running the stick back over my stomach to see none other then a small child in my uterus. For the tenth time today I felt the air be stolen from my lungs as I look at the black and white screen to see a clear baby. It was small, but it was still distinctly a baby. I saw the head, the legs and the arms. I can't believe I didn't know this was inside my body for three months. I didn't know how to feel; looking at this form of life inside my stomach was so alarming, and it made me terrified. If this was five years down the road and I was with a man that actually wanted children- then I'd be over the moon.

But the fact of the reality is, I'm nineteen. I'm nineteen and the father of this baby is the leader of the deadliest gang on the planet.

I look at Harry who is looking at the ground between his feet, emotionless.

"Harry." I whisper to him.

He shakes his head, refusing to look up at the screen and staying silent- so silent.

"I understand this is a shock to both of you, so unless if you have a solid decision now. I can arrange for you both to come back in a week for another ultrasound and if you wish to get an abortion or do adoption then we will go from there. It's probably best if you go home and process everything." The doctor says quietly, taking the stick off my stomach and wiping off the gel.

"O-okay.." I stutter.

"I'll book you in for next Thursday at noon." She stands up and shuts off the monitor, rolling it away. When she leaves the room, I turn back to Harry, given that he hasn't spoken a word yet. He kept his head down, his forearms leaned on his spread legs. It worried me to not know what he was thinking.