f i f t y - f i f t h ♂️

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I couldn't believe what I just did: I gobbled up the cold pizza slices that were left in the box, and finished them all. They weren't even close to delicious; the cheese was tasteless, and the dough was soggy and hard. Despite so, I kept consuming them up anyway. Also, I gulped down glasses of water that I lost count on how much time I ran to and from the dispenser. Asher and Timmy settled beside me, watching me with amusement as I wiped my mouth with a tissue.

I always hate being watched.

I wasn't supposed to be hungry nor thirsty, but here I was, acting like a starving bear who hasn't come out of its cage for a few weeks. In fact, nausea should have prevented me from eating, but it never showed up. I didn't even throw up, even after devouring a lot of food that should make me more than just queasy. For some reason, I was mildly satisfied, like there was nothing to be worried about anymore.

Worry...?

What is there to worry...?

What the hell... I shouldn't be feeling like this... My arms were tensing up. I really shouldn't have accepted his offer. This is totally not according to my plan. I had succumbed to my own physical needs...

"You're lucky I didn't throw the pizza away. Well, I was about to before you came. It had been sitting there for a good amount of hours, so I thought no one's going to eat them." Asher breathed out in relief, before he smiled thinly. "Man, you really are starving."

No wonder all the slices were moist, mushy and mostly stale. Nevertheless, it wasn't that bad. My body took the food in without any rejection, and now they were all sitting in my stomach, being gradually digested.

"Don't throw it away, that's just... wasting food!" Timmy complained, snapping his head at his older brother. "Who knows Mom and Dad wants it when they got home!"

"Nah, they won't." He dismissed the little boy with a wave of his hand. "You know they hate cold food, don't you?"

"They can use the microwave..."

"It will just make it into something inedible." Asher folded his arms, his face grimacing. "Besides, they probably had eaten dinner somewhere else, so fat chance. At least it's all settled, since Ed has eaten them all."

While the brothers were chatting about topics I would rather not listen, I nervelessly slanted to the back of the chair, trying to make myself comfortable amidst the situation. I plucked some imaginary dirt off my nails, but eventually, I stopped with whatever I was doing. I slowly tilted my head up, facing the white ceiling. I pointlessly stared into some space, as the voices of Asher and Timmy shifted into a series of incomprehensible words.

Rena's texts that I had read back in the bathroom came flowing back into my mind. I remembered all of her words that expressed an immense concern. Even through messages, I could imagine how desperate she was and how she was willing to give me assistance, as she even begged for me to meet her privately in person.

I had lashed out at her and hurt her, but she acted like it never happened. She seemed to be not angry at all, not even in the slightest... just pure interest in my whereabouts and my condition. If that's so, then she must have cared about me so much...

No.... I shouldn't let my emotions get the best of me. I fervently shook my head to get myself off the thoughts. I closed my eye for a few seconds, only to open them again. The last time I listened to them, there were a lot of unwanted experiences I have to confront. Not to mention, I wouldn't risk myself into trusting anyone anymore, especially those from my own family and even... Rena herself. She might be working  with them to convince me to go back.

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