Not Your Average Nerd

Chapter Twelve

‘Oh cool, on top of all this. I’m naked.’

I sat in Indian style (good ol’ criss-cross applesauce), nude, in what appeared to be a clearing, somewhere in the middle of the forest. With no signs of my clothes or, hell. My sanity.

Naturally, I looked left and right, just to make sure it wasn’t a full-blow campout with others stalking around before I stood up. Every joint in my body popped as I straightened myself out as if I had just got done with the most intense exercise of my life. ‘Maybe I lost my virginity,’ I looked around one last time, just to make sure I alone… ‘And I don’t remember a thing. Great.’

Even though it had to have been around 10 in the morning, with the sun ready to warm the sky, I had a full moon behind me. The fact that I woke in the forest… Sure. That’s one thing. But naked? That made me chuckle. (You know, the, ‘whatthefuckiswrongwithme’ kind of ‘ihatemyself’ chuckle.)

Luckily. It only took a few good minutes of wandering through the forest like Eve, just lacking my garden of Eden, to realize I was somewhere behind my house. “Ah-hah,” I nodded once, coming up to a tree stump that resembled a funny toilet. My house was, I peered through a curtain of leaves and assorted tree decoration, right there. Only a bare-bottomed dash away.

            “If I plan this just right…” I muttered under my breath, looking left and right, “I can make it in the house through the back door. Avoid human contact. Sprint upstairs. Redress. And then check myself into an institution.”

I walked back down the stairs, dragging my hand down the railing as I always did, this time, clothed. Normally, I hated for the back door to be unlocked, but after this, I was never locking it again. Nor was I ever hiking solo.

Mama sat on a recliner, a news paper in her hands and Tudor at her feet. “Morning,” I spoke in my mother tongue as I strode passed my mother. Silence.

Tudor shifted himself so that he faced me, with the most pitiful set of puppy dog eyes and the longest face I had ever seen on a dog. ‘Maybe he pooped somewhere,’ I thought, reaching for the remote. Boy, did it feel good to sink into the couch after spending the night sleeping on a pile of grass. Tudor shook his head, followed by a strange whine. I watched as he crawled, inching closer toward me.

“Shezi! Sit!” Mama scolded the dog, nearly jumping from her chair. Yep. She was in a Tudor-induced mood. Her lips made a tight line as she watched Tudor, the floppy-eared culprit, sit back in front of her.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, lowering the volume to the television.

“Ha!” Mama chucked the morning paper down on the small table beside her, and then proceeded to cross her arms. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked.

“I wake in the morning, follow your father down the stairs to send him off to work. Kiss goodbye. The usual.” The fact that she wore a twisted smile as she talked scared me. “And then I go for my coffee! Okay. I walk to the coffee maker and then, THERE. Blood everywhere. Floor. Counter. Refriderator.”

My stomach curled as she spoke. “Blood?” I asked, repulsed by the very word.

“Yes. And an empty meat package and plastic wrapping torn to bits, tossed everywhere!” Mama paused her story to glare at Tudor, muttering a line of curses under her steamed breath. “This one. Our meat for tonight’s dinner… Gone. Turned to dog shit by now.”

“What happened?” I popped my fingers, hating the stiffness that they kept falling back to.

“I guess Anica or your father woke for a snack. Didn’t shut the door right, and then THIS one decided to feast.” Mama recited another line of curses as she sat with her eyes closed, head tilted, and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“If you could go to the store for me,” She continued, still rubbing her nose,

“I would appreciate it.”

Who was I to tell my mother-dearest no? An idiot, that's who. I could feel the anger steaming off of her, and I sat a good few feet away. She was already after the dog… I wasn’t going to be the next on her hit list

“Of course, mama.” I stood, popping my back. It was goin to be a crazy day… I had a strong gut feeling. My knees even popped as I stepped over Tudor, making mama cringe.

“Hurry to the store before you break! And then I would be out of meat for dinner and in need of treating you.” Mama sighed, picking her paper up from the table.

“Thanks, mama.”

“Hurry. And brush the leaves from your hair. You look like a jungle woman.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Once again, I must say THANKS for reading :-D I can't help but jump a little each time I get an email or notification from Wattpad.

I hope this was pretty good! Finally. Something more interesting. Yes! 12 is my favorite and lucky number so, I had to make sure this one came in with a bigger bang.

Welp! Until next upload... Remember! Keep and eye out for those pregnant zombies. ;)