Gast: Volume 1: Dead to rights. (Gothic Horror) (Completed)

Chapter 5 - The Wheel turns.

Adam spent the next three days confined to his bed, the bruises deepening, and the flesh mending. He had no visitors yet he never truly felt alone.

In the corner of the room, he felt probing eyes, ever watchful. His dreams were nightmarish and full of hostility, yet he embraced them. At the moment he had no pity for himself, no innocence. He wanted to be punished. To be screamed at, to be threatened. He wanted to suffer.

He was lost in his thoughts and memories, and had been more often than not, since the crash. It was during this self-chastisement that the door to his room opened and a weary soul entered.

For minutes Adam remained oblivious to the visitor until finally, his reality swam back into focus.

"The funeral is in a week." said the woman devoid of hatred.

Adam stared at her in confusion and she smiled.

"What did you expect me to torture you?" she asked.

Adam remained silent.

"You've got that handled, all by yourself dear boy, besides... I'm old enough to know that the wheel continues to turn irrelevant to our suffering."

"Clara..."

Clara sat forward and stared at him intently.

"Yes?" she asked.

"How's everyone coping?" asked Adam.

He remembered the way he had snapped at Lily and not for the first time hated himself.

"They... will be fine in time." she paused. "For now it's probably best if you keep your distance from them until the funeral."

Adam nodded.

"So they hate me," he stated more than asked.

Clara smirked and rose to unsteadily to her feet.

"Does it really matter?" she asked.

"That is... unless you want to be hated?"

Adam stared at her emotionless and Clara shook her head.

"You want my advice?" she asked.

Adam knew no matter what he answered she would give it anyway,

so he nodded.

"Don't try and wash the blood from your hands because it's pointless... instead, use this time to reflect on the memory of Rose and try to hold it tight in your heart. Because take it from someone my age. Memories hurt but without them, you're not human."

Clara walked to the door and sighed.

"I'll see you at the funeral... Hopefully, this will be my last."

And with that Adam was once more alone.

The hatred for her once burned so hot that Adam could feel his blood boil, that was then and this was now. That hatred had internalized upon himself and he knew as Clara said it that she was right. He had to find a way to live with that hatred otherwise it would kill him and with his death, a part of Rose would die also.

Adam sighed as he looked at the clock, it was time. Hospital food tasted lifeless. His mother used to say that it was like eating oxygen, utterly devoid of taste. He had not eaten at all these past few days. This was another way that he could punish himself.

As the nurse carried in the tray he knew that this time he would eat.

As he savaged the tray and the food that was housed within like an animal the nurse laughed and spoke.

"Someone has his appetite back. Good, that means you're on the mend."

Adam wiped the gravy from his chin and spoke.

"It tastes better than I thought."

The nurse smiled and spoke.

"That's your brain overriding your taste buds I'm afraid. I could have brought in a plate of rancid pork and you'd have told me how good it tasted."

Adam laughed and continued eating.

"You'll grow to hate it... And that'll be how I know your getting stronger."

She waited for him to finish and took the offered tray from him.

"Now get plenty of rest."

It turned out that the nurse was factual in her estimation. As the days progressed and his strength grew he did find the meals to taste gradually worse. And each time the portions left would grow in size the nurse would wink at him as she left.