Spirit Animals One-Shots

envy - reilin

Rollan was not a stranger to jealousy and envy.

He could knock on its door, and it'd open up and invite him in like an old friend.

He spent most of his childhood being resentful. Resentful of the children he saw holding their mother's hand. Resentful of the nobles he saw riding in carriages, money sagging at their pockets.

He stopped visiting jealousy when he met Meilin though. When they first saw each other, envy swarmed around him like a hive of bees. Rollan thought she had it all, being a General's daughter, growing up rich and all.

However he realized quickly she didn't have it all--she didn't have a mother, and soon, she didn't have a father either. Her hometown was taken over by Conquerors. She had no home to return to.

He stopped paying visits to envy as he got to know her. Instead Rollan sits on love's couch, sipping tea and listening to its stories.

And he continued doing that as he spent more time with Meilin, filling his days with endless wonders.

The war ends. He and love become close friends.

The Wyrm is eliminated. Meilin becomes the light of his life, his sun, moon, and stars.

But he notices jealousy trying to make amends with him when Meilin becomes known across Erdas for her fighting abilities and beauty. He notices jealousy make itself at home in his heart when people speak to Meilin warmly, but acknowledge him with scorn and pity.

"Poor thing," they whisper, "his father is dead and his mother abandoned him. What a sorry little boy."

He doesn't mean to be jealous of her. He really doesn't. He loves her like nothing else, and he tries to surpress the waves of jealousy he feels--but everytime he does, they just come back up, stronger than ever.

Meilin soon notices it--it's hard to miss with someone like Rollan, when everything they're feeling is said right on their face.

They're in the library well past dusk. Erlan has withdrawn himself to his room a while ago, leaving the two to themselves.

Rollan sits at a table, head propped by his hands. His dark umber eyes stare boredly out the window, the moon shining brightly outside.

Meilin, on the other hand, has a book in her slender hands, reading intensely. Every now and then she cast a glance at Rollan to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep. He's strangely quiet, which drives her nuts, and she has a strong suspicion as to why he's acting like this.

She ignores it for a while and keeps reading. Rollan lets out a tiny sigh.

Meilin suddenly slams her book down on the table, startling Rollan. He jumps slightly and turns sharply, staring at the Zhongese girl with surprise. "Uh--what's up?" he finally gets out.

"Not what's up with me," Meilin snaps, "what's up with YOU?"

Rollan, confused, tilts his head. "What do you mean?" he furrows his brow.

"Don't give me that crap, I know something's bothering you. You don't get this quiet--no, don't say you're tired, because you've been like this all day--and you've been avoiding my gaze all day."

Rollan opens and closes his mouth, lowering his head. He clenches and unclenches his hands.

Meilin softens her gaze and says more gently, "you can talk to me, Rollan."

He grits his teeth. He hates how she can see right through him, but he supposes it's better to tell her than hurting her feelings by pushing her away.