Two

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     It was too late to turn back now, Harry's eyes that were usually so happy and bright...turned dark full of hatred. He scrolled through my notifications biting down on his middle knuckle. "Twat? Doesn't belong in the band? He's a bloody faggot?" Harry growls lowly. "They have no right to say this about my Lou!" I jump back at his out burst and whimper, he then turns to me cupping my cheek. "You belong in this band just as much as us, baby." He wipes away my tears and sighs softly pulling me to him and kisses my forehead. I cry into his chest as he rocks me, trying to calm me down.

     "Why didn't you tell us?" Liam asks gently. I cry harder into Harry's chest letting the pain take over. I grip onto Harry, I needed him...he was my life support. I felt like I was drowning as sobs washed over me, it left me to cling onto my boy. I knew I wouldn't survive this. He rubs my back soothing, I can tell he's hurt by this...it was his idea to go public. My life was going down the toilet like a dead goldfish, I was scared it would get worse. I sniffled and looked up at Harry to see him crying as he continued to read on. It vibrated continuously in his hand, I unconsciously reached up for it to only have Harry turn it off.

     "They aren't worth it, Louis." Zayn said sitting on my right. Niall sat beside Liam, he was worried and crying too.

     "Check him, what if he's been cutting..." Niall whispers. I feel Harry go rigid and I look up to see his eyes wide. He goes to check my body frantically but I stop him.

     "I'm clean...I haven't done anything, yet." I whisper. Harry and Niall sighed softly in relief as I cling onto my knees, hugging them tightly. Harry rubs my back and begins to whisper calming things into my ear.

     "Baby, I'm gonna take you upstairs...okay?" Harry whispers softly running his hand through his hair. I shake my head closing my eyes.

      "Actually...I'm a little hungry." I mumble a little white lie. I know he'll feel better knowing I'm at least trying to eat. Harry smiles and cups my cheeks.

     "Really babe?!" I smile weakly at his happy, excited, sparkling eyes staring into mine. I nod taking in his beautiful eyes. "How about we order some pizza then, does that sound good?" I nodded listening to him.

     "And we could watch some funny movies!" Niall exclaims.

     "I'll make some tea for us." Zayn says rushing to the kitchen. Harry orders the pizza as Niall pops in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.

     It was two in the morning by the time Harry carries me to bed. Once his head hits the pillow within seconds. I wiggle my way out of his arms and sneak out to Liam's room where my phone was. I had pretended that all the tea, pizza, and movies made me felt better. I had just accepted it that I was just never gonna get better. I opened Liam's door quietly and made my way in silently. Once I get to his nightstand I begin looking for my phone. My hand brushes the cold screen and I grab it and get out, fast. I look down the empty hallway and make my way down to the bathroom. I look at my hideous reflection and sigh softly, I look at my phone and turn it on slowly. My finger hovers over my twitter app and I feel the tears prick my eyes as I see there are hundreds of notifications on my app- all hate related. I needed a distraction from all of this. I looked around the bathroom for a sharp object. I felt my hand enclose around a sharp, never used, clean razor. I locked the door and looked back at my phone. There are 506 notifications full of hate in just ten hours. I knew it all had to be fucking hate, I don't get anything else other than hate. The first tweet I saw drew the line. I couldn't handle it anymore, I needed a fucking release.

@Louis_Tomlinson, You have no fucking right to be in 1D, I hope you finally left and that's the reason you weren't on the SOS interview. (SOS is the Sharon Osborn Show)

     I clutched the evil torture device in my hand. 'Do it,' 'One isn't enough!' I sat my phone on the shelf and took the razor to my forearm multiple times. I watched as red flows down my arms and the pain was addicting... Tears were running down my cheeks as I watched it. It was a relief to feel physical pain instead of emotional all of the time. I move to the sink and wash the blood off. I sigh and leave the blades in the sink and go back to Harry's room.

     I grab Harry's old as hell Jack Willis purple hoodie and slip it over my body. I then climb into bed next to Harry and curl up to him and his arms immediately wrap around my waist. The pain on my wrist subsided all too soon, I guess that's why people did this repeatedly. The emotional pain started to come back and it was brutal. I looked at Harry as he snored softly. I wanted him to sing me to sleep but I didn't want to bother him, he needed his beauty sleep. I loved him so much, I just couldn't bring him into this.

     "I love you, so much Haz..." I whispered as I kissed his cheek before cuddling up to him. Sleep didn't come until the wee early hours of the morning.

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