She's Not Afraid (Harry Styles )

Chapter 19

Autumn

In the weeks after I had ended things with Harry I had quit my job. Being there was too hard after what had happened. The nightmares never went away and I would wake up screaming and alone most nights. The first few Kat would come in, but after a while she stopped.  I had stopped.  I barley ate enough to survive, I slept or just laid in bed alone all day. I had no motivation to get up and do anything. My mom and Lexi had tried calling a few times and the odd time I did pick up the conversation was short.  I knew my mom had started paying for my rent and phone and while I felt guilty, I couldn’t bring myself to look for work.

What did it matter? Harry had simply let me go. I know I told him I didn’t have feelings for him, but a part of me had hoped he would fight for me, to prove me wrong, and when he hadn’t I broke. I had given up. The man I loved, the man I still loved but wouldn’t admit to loving didn’t think I was worth fighting for. It hurt. The pain was like nothing I had ever felt. Even the beatings I had gone through were nothing compared  to this. A few times I thought about ending my life, but I didn’t want Kat to have to find me. While she was strong, I don’t think she would survive that. So when pretty much the only thing keeping me alive was that I didn’t want my roommate to find me dead hit me, it seemed to make me feel worse.  I wondered if Harry was feeling the same, or if he had just forgotten about me and moved on like I was nothing.

I hadn’t heard from any of the boys since I had told Harry  I didn’t love him, so I was surprised when I got a call from Liam. “Liam? Is everything okay?” I asked. “Yea it’s alright I guess. I just missed you, and needed someone  to talk to” he said. He sounded depressed, so for the moment I forgot my own issues. “What’s wrong? And why can’t you talk to the boys or Lexi?” I asked him, sitting up in my bed. “They are all to close to the situation. I kind of need someone who is objective.” He said. “okay.” I said, trying to get him to talk. “Do you remember my friend Sky from the party?” He asked. I thought about it for a second. “Yea sort of. We only met briefly” I said and it was true. I had met the girl for all of a minute before Liam had dragged her away excitedly. I heard him sigh on the other end. “Well, thing is, ever since Sophia and I broke up, I have found myself fancying her. Actually I’m in love with her. Thing is either she doesn’t know, or she is ignoring it. She broke up with her boyfriend a while ago, which is a long story I won’t get into. Anyways, we had been hanging out a lot and last night I kissed her and she ran out. I haven’t heard from her at all and I’m scared I may have lost her.” He said, and I could hear the sadness in his voice. “Liam, I am the worst person to ask for relationship advice. Look at what I did to Harry and I.” I said with a sigh. “You two will sort that out. He just needs to get off his ass and stop moping.” He said, and his words shocked me. Harry was moping? I wanted to ask more but I knew it wasn’t the time. “Liam, give her some space maybe? I don’t know her but if you guys have been friends for a long time she could be confused. If she doesn’t have any kind of feelings for you she would have said something then and there, not ran off. Wait and let her sort it out on her own.” I said. “Okay. Maybe you’re right and I’m over reacting. And babe? Harry loves you. Lou said he’s been a mess, actually he said he’s been a disgusting mess. So take your own advice love, just give him time. You really hurt him.” He said, and I sighed. “I know I did, and I don’t expect him to forgive me.” I said. “But he will love, it’s how he is. I’ve got to go though. Keep well” He said before hanging up.  I wasn’t sure who this girl was that he was so in love with, but whoever she was I hope she was smarter then I was.

I got up out of bed and made my way to the bathroom to bathe. Kat was out at work or something and I was alone.  I soaked in the tub for a good hour, keeping my right arm out of the water as it was still in a cast. I got out and looked at my reflection. I had lost a lot of weight, my cheeks looked sunken and around my eyes looked slightly bruised. I was pale  and the purple in my hair had grown out enough that I had brown roots. I pulled on an over sized t-shirt and shorts and had walked out of the bathroom drying my hair when I heard a knock at the door. Thinking it was Kat and she had forgotten her key I didn’t think twice before opening the door. I stood there in shock, there in front of me, looking almost as bad as I did, yet somehow still sexy, was Harry. “Harry?” I managed to get out.  “Oh babe” He said as he took in the sight of me, and the next thing I knew my face was in his hands and he was kissing me.

** SO There's 2 more chapters after this and then we're done!! I would really love it if you guys would vote :) If I can get 10 votes on this chapter I could be convinced to do a double update this week. Also let me know how you are liking this story :) I wanna talk to you guys and would love your feedback xD Also the next story and the last is up and I've been updating on fridays. It takes place the same time as this one and most of it is from Liam's POV. so go check it out!! **