She's Not Afraid (Harry Styles )

Chapter 11

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Autumn

The day of our last night in London party was confusing at best. Eleanor had woken Kat and I up at 10, and at 11 Kat, Eleanor, Lexi and I had met up with Harry’s sister Gemma and the boys stylist Lou Teasdale. Seeing both Gemma and Lou with what looked like Lilac hair was surprising to me. I knew Niall dyed his hair blond but I didn’t think anyone else the boys hung out with had their hair some unnatural colour. It was nice to see. It was equally as nice when Gemma then proceeded to tell Lou she was thinking of going the same colour. Lou on the other hand scolded me for not having my hair dyed properly and doing it at home. “the stuff you get from the shops is so bad for your hair love. I can touch it up for you if you like” she said with a warm smile. I thought about it before responding “Actually I think I might want to change the colour completely” I said with a smirk and the woman eyes lit up.

Four hours later  I walked back into Louis apartment with a bag from shopping and my once turquoise hair now a dark plum colour. “Nice hair love” Louis said with a wink before wrapping his arms around Eleanor. I couldn’t help but smile at the two. They were so in love with each other, even though he was on the road 6 months out of the year. “Thanks. But I know you’re jealous you’re not this cool.” I said with a smile. He stuck his tongue out at me before nuzzling into Eleanor’s neck, as I walked into mine and Kats room.

A few hours later I was standing with Kat and Lexi in Funky Buddha trying not to fan girl.  I had just briefly met Ed Sheeran, who I had secretly been in love with for the past year before he wandered off to find Harry. I had also decided I was in love with Harry’s friend Nick, who I was talking to about which celebrities he thought were secretly gay. “Channing Tatum is one of us” he said, and I giggled. “you know he’s married and has a kid now right?” “ Doesn’t mean he isn’t way in the closet” he said as I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I froze until I turned and saw Harry looking at me with an apologetic smile. I smiled warmly up at him “Is he telling you about his Channing Tatum theories?” He asked and laughed when I nodded. “Mate, how many times do I have to tell you the man is straight.” Harry said with a chuckle “You’re just jealous. You know you want a piece of this.” Nick said and all three of us burst out laughing. “She’s a good one Styles.” He said with a wink before walking off, leaving Harry and I alone for the moment. “What did he mean by that?” I asked. “It means he likes you. Though honestly who wouldn’t” he said with a smile. I could smell the alcohol on his breath, even though he didn’t seem to be drunk.

I stayed with Harry for the rest of the night, letting him introduce me to the people who were there. At some point he had put his arm around my waist, and rather than it freaking me out, it actually made me feel calmer and more relaxed. I felt safe with Harry around, and I really wasn’t used to feeling that way with any guy.

Towards the end of the night Harry and had ended up dancing together. Well I don’t think I would have called it dancing, more like we swayed to the music together, his arm around my waist.  We were the last ones to make it back to the building since our cab driver seemed to get lost. I could tell Harry was annoyed when we finally made it, but I had too much to drink to really care.  Harry walked  me to Louis door, and we stood there for a moment. “I’m going to miss you more than I should.” I said, looking at the floor. I was happy my cheeks were already flushed from the alcohol so he couldn’t tell I was blushing.  I felt his hand gently brush my cheek and I looked up at him. “I’m going to miss you too love.” He said. He was dangerously close now and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I bit my bottom lip out of nervousness, still looking into his eyes, which seemed to be a darker shade of green. His hand was still on my cheek, his thumb gently rubbing it and I leaned my head slightly into it. He took that moment to slowly lean down and press his lips softly and carefully to mine. It was a cautious and tender kiss, like he was afraid at any moment I would freak out and pull away. Part of me wanted to, but a bigger part of me wanted to kiss him back, so I did.

The kiss lasted only a few seconds before I pulled away. I was afraid if I kept kissing him I wouldn’t be able to stop, and I wasn’t ready for what could come of that. I stepped away slightly, looking at the floor. I didn’t want to look in his eyes, I couldn’t. “Goodbye Harry” I said. It came out as more of a whisper but I knew he heard it. I quickly turned and went into the apartment, not giving him a chance to say anything else, and pressed my back to the closed door, sliding down till I hit the floor.   I brought my knees up to my chest  and rested my chin on them and I stayed like that for a good five minutes. I needed some time to process what had just happened before getting up and heading to bed.

Kat and I were woken up the next day by Eleanor. She told us the boys had been called in for a meeting by management and that they wouldn’t be here to say good bye. I couldn’t help but pout when I heard this. I really wanted to talk to Harry about the kiss.  It only took us two hours to be packed and dressed and on our way to the airport.  Both Eleanor and Lexi had come to see us off, as well as Gemma and lou all assuring us that the boys wished they could be there to see us off.  Lou told me she would have a stylist friend of hers get in touch with me, and assured me I would get a discount. “You’re family now love” she said as she hugged me goodbye. After hugs from everyone else and a string of “I’ll miss you so much” and “text me when you land” we boarded the plane.  As I was getting settled into my seat my phone went off. I looked down to see I had 4 new texts. It was the boys telling me they were sorry they couldn’t be there to see me off. The only one who hadn’t texted me was Harry. I sighed before switching my phone to airplane mode and leaned my head against the window. “Babe what’s wrong? You seem really down.” Kat said. “I’m just really going to miss them” I said and she nodded “ I know, me too. But you know we will be seeing them in a few months when they are in New York for the tour and press stuff. There’s something else I can tell, so spill” She said and I sighed. Sometimes I hated how well she knew me. “Harry didn’t text me to say goodbye. And I wanted to talk to him about last night” I said. She looked at me “ What happened last night?” She asked and I could see a  bit of concern on her face. “He kissed me, and I kissed him back” I said, trying to fight back tears “And I just ran away after. I was too afraid to look at him. I just ran away and hid, and now he probably thinks I hate him” I said, the last bit coming out in a squeak as tears threatened to break through. “Shhh don’t worry hun. If it makes you feel better I haven’t heard from him yet either. Maybe he forgot his phone. That boy is crazy about you, and I’m sure he understands why you ran. Maybe text him after we land, ask him to call you and you can explain things to him. Boy’s aren’t always the brightest and need thing explained to them.” She said with a soft chuckle. I just nodded and sniffled. I was really hoping she was right.