She's Not Afraid (Harry Styles )

Chapter 12

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Harry

I had spent the night of the party with Autumn. I didn’t want to let her out of my sight since I knew this was the last night I would get to spend with her. The last two weeks had made me realize that I was falling hard for this girl.  She was complicated, like a puzzle I just couldn’t figure out, but I wanted to be the one who put her back together. I wanted to show her that despite what may have happened in the past, I wasn’t going to hurt her.  I never really had to work quite this hard for a girl, but I knew Autumn was worth it. There was something special about her.

We were the last ones to get back to the building that night, our stupid taxi driver had gotten lost and I was quite annoyed. I walked her up to Louis flat and we stood in silence for a few moments. “I’m going to miss you more than I should.” She said, looking at the floor. I gently brushed her cheek with my hand, being careful not to startle her, and smiled when she met my eyes  “I’m going to miss you too love.” I said. Our faces were so close, and I held my breath waiting for her to pull away . My hand was still on her cheek and I rubbed it softly with my thumb, dying to kiss her she bit her bottom lip out of nervousness, still looking into my  eyes, as she slightly leaned her head into my hand. I couldn’t resist any longer and slowly lowered my head until my lips met hers. I kissed her softly, afraid she might pull away out of fear. I was pleasantly surprised when she kissed me back. I was a soft kiss that sent a jolt through my body. It didn’t last long before she pulled away, not looking at me. “Goodbye Harry” she whispered before quickly opening the door and going into Louis flat.

I stood there for a minute , trying to process what had happened. I knew we were both a bit drunk or I never would have kissed her. But she kissed me back, even if it wasn’t for very long, she kissed me back. But she had run. Had I pushed to much? Gone to far too soon? I let out a sigh as I ran my hand through my hair and made my way back to my own flat and called it a night.

I was woken up far too early for my liking by the sound of my phone ringing. “Yea?” I said, my voice still heavy with sleep. “Harry we need you and the boys here in an hour for a meeting. There are some things we need to sort out for you’re tour.” The voice on the other end said. I groaned “Can’t it wait? Our friends are leaving today and we would like to see them off” I said, hoping they could postpone it “Unfortunately it can’t. Simon  has to leave for America early tomorrow and he wants to be there for this” I sighed and sat up in my bed. “Fine I’ll see you in an hour.” I said before hanging up the phone.

The meeting ended up going on longer than any of us really wanted and we ended up missing seeing the girls off. I hadn’t heard from Autumn, and was worried that she may be upset with me. I tried calling her but her phone went straight to voice mail. I didn’t bother leaving her a message. I wasn’t sure if she had just turned her phone off or if she was avoiding me. I let out a sigh as I put my phone away and ran a hand through my hair. “What’s wrong mate?” Louis said, placing a hand on my back. I looked at him “I think I fucked up Lou.” I said. “What did you do?” He asked. I let out a sigh “Last night I kissed Autumn. She kissed me back for a bit before saying goodbye and running into the apartment. I really think I screwed up. What if she wasn’t ready? What if I scared her off and have lost her?” I said. I knew I was starting to panic a bit. I couldn’t lose her, I needed her. “If she kissed you back then she may have wanted it as much as you did. Give her a bit of time, call her tomorrow when she’s been home and had some time to sleep and deal with the jet lag. I think if you had freaked her out you would have heard from Kat or Lexi by now. You know how protective those girls are of her.” He said and I just nodded. He was right. If I had really freaked her out Lexi would be screaming in my ear at me by now.

I headed back to my flat and spent the rest of my day being lazy. Eleanor was still over so Louis was spending time with her. Gemma had come over for a bit and we spent some much needed time together. I explained to her what had happened and she told me the same thing Louis told me, to call her tomorrow and talk to her. I ended up not being able to sleep all that well that night. I kept having nightmare about calling her and her telling me she never wanted to  see me again. By the time the next day came, we had to go do a radio interview with Nick in the morning and I  felt like a zombie. I decided to wait until I got home to call. I sat on my couch, nervous and worried that she wouldn’t pick up “Harry?” I heard her voice say from the other end. “Hello love, how was your flight?” I asked. “It was good. I was worried you wouldn’t call” she said. I frowned “Why wouldn’t I?” I asked. “I thought you had given up on me after I ran the other night.” She said, her voice barley a whisper now. “Autumn I won’t ever give up on you. I care about you a lot, and I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. I’m so sorry” I said. “I care about you too. And I’m sorry I ran. I just didn’t know how to handle what I was feeling. I haven’t felt like this in so long, and the last time I did I got hurt. Badly.” She said. I let out the breath I had been holding. I was happy she wasn’t mad, happy that she had opened up a bit. “I won’t ever hurt you. And I will do whatever it takes to prove that to you” I said, meaning every word. “I know. I miss you Harry, but I had to go. I have some things I need to pick up for class tomorrow.” She said, and I could almost hear the smile in her voice. “I miss you too love. Text me when you are home okay?” I said. “Okay. Bye Harry” She said. I said goodbye and hung up my phone, smiling like an idiot. She wasn’t mad at me, she had liked the kiss. She had feelings for me.