Chapter 19: What are you trying to hide?

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Song used in this chapter: "Safe" - Britt Nicole

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"Can't you see I'm hanging by a thread?

To my life, what I know, yeah I'm losing control"


Nam Soon stood still, trying to process Heung Soo's question.

"Who?" he asked, without thinking. Why was Heung Soo asking him this? How did he know about Yoon Jae? He wasn't supposed to know - Heung Soo should never have discovered about him.

"Yoon Jae. He just sent you a message," Heung Soo said, trying to sound uninterested. But the truth was that he wasn't expecting Nam Soon to be so surprised - why did he have the feeling that this was something that he wasn't supposed to know? Why did Nam Soon look so tense when he heard him?

"Oh..." Nam Soon mumbled, sitting on the bed and wiping his damp hair with a green towel. "Just someone I know," he answered, purposely avoiding Heung Soo's gaze. He tried his best to keep his expression blank, while on the inside he felt like he had just been discovered. He felt exposed, like never before. Only the possibility of Heung Soo finding out about him was terrifying. He couldn't let him find out. If Heung Soo found out, things would probably be over between them - that's why he could never let that happen.

Heung Soo remained quiet, waiting for a proper answer that never came, an answer that would never come. Nam Soon finally stared at him and then at the manga that Heung Soo was reading earlier.

"What are you reading?" he asked, obviously trying to change the subject, which didn't go unnoticed by Heung Soo.

He didn't understand. Why was Nam Soon hiding this from him? Why wouldn't he tell him? Was there something about this person that Heung Soo wasn't supposed to know, or was this just something from his head? But he doubted that it was. He knew Nam Soon. They had been years apart, but that didn't change - he could tell. He could see that something in Nam Soon was not the usual. Nam Soon had been avoiding him. He lied to him, and now he was hiding things from him.

But why? And why did that make him feel so sad? Why was there a sense of emptiness inside him that wouldn't go away?


"You keep trying to get inside my head

While I keep trying to lose the words you said"


His co-workers were unusually loudly when Heung Soo arrived. Apparently, everyone was talking about what Heung Soo would later find out to be a karaoke party on Saturday.

"Are you going?" Moo Yul asked as he sat down in front of his desk, holding a black coffee in his hands.

Heung Soo picked up his cell phone and stared at it as he thought for a moment, wondering if Nam Soon would go if he invited him.

"Perhaps..." he just mumbled while he wrote a message to the younger boy.

"Going to a karaoke on saturday. Wanna go?" He sent him, but wasn't expecting an answer soon. Nam Soon would probably see it but he knew how busy it was down there in the mornings. He could wait until lunch time to ask him in person.

As soon as Heung Soo took a break from his morning shift, he went down to the comfy coffee shop. Nam Soon was standing behind the counter serving a client. Since it was almost lunchtime, the movement had subsided a bit. The younger boy watched him approach and smiled at him - Nam Soon had a beautiful smile. A wide smile that would make anyone around him feel a little warmer inside. At least that's what Heung Soo thought as he stood in front of him.

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