JUST BECAUSE

UNLOVE HIM?IF ONLY.FOR NOW,ABANDONED BY HIM.

"So,miss Dawns.today,your partner is mr.Andrews."

i was late to my maths class(thanks to my evergreen one of my favoutrite hobby- sleeping) and now, i was like,what happened to my life,my luck?oh yeah,the usual happened.as usual,my life is a mess and my luck is not on my side.it is rarely on my side.so rare that when its on my side i am like "wow.uhh....excuse me but what just happened?" i wanna dance around and sing out loud and...well,you get my point.and by the way,the 'partner' thingie?no,it is not connected to anything 'romantic'.huh,far from it actually.today was our maths lab work in which i intend to get good marks because it's going to contribute half of the marks to my final results.and the jerk,the asshole-i mean,Jeff-was my lab partner.

"miss Dawns? you heard me?" our maths mam looked at me worriedly.

OH GOD,HELP ME.

"yeah." i nodded and went to the seat where andrews was already sitting.

many of the girls were glaring at me like "i better die."

i just wanted to smile at them like "yeah.you all just stole my words."

oh,the irony.

ten minutes after-

this silence.this damn silence.like how is he this good at it?ugh.it still was going on around my head.his words a week ago. "you are a trouble.a problem for me." my tears and me walking away.the pain.and that i love him.I love HIM.like all those many other girls.but like,why?!why him?!

yes,it has been a week since that party.a week since Jeff and Richard had BOTH stopped coming to school as if they had disappeared into thin air.AGAIN.i have been trying to just you know,NOT love Jeff but if only it was this easy.if only 'UNLOVE' can happen.IT IS TOO DAMN HARD AND I AM FAILING AT IT MISERABLY.and now,that they were back,the first day that they are back,i am teamed up with Jeff.JUST.MY.I -DON'T -KNOW-WHAT-LUCK.IF .I. EVEN. HAVE .THAT.

"i...."Jeff whispered suddenly.wait,JEFF ANDREWS was the one to break silence this time?MIRACLE.i ignored him and kept on making mathematical figures and writing.it is not that easy to take my attention,andrews.specially after what happened at the end of that party.it is so not easy.

YEAH,TELL THAT TO YOURSELF,LIAR.

is that my second voice?

YEAH.

then please,just SHUT UP.

i looked up at him.it's like so hard to ignore him you know?i could just feel his eyes burning holes in me.

"what?" i sighed with a as-if-i-care voice.

when all i wanted was to stare at him and smile like a mess of a girl in love.

and at the same moment i wanted to just cry and shout and hit him hard because of that night.

"you are a problem.a trouble for me."

ugh,those words.shut up shut up stupid pearl.

"i am not getting how to do this sum."he ran his fingers through his hair.ohgod.so hot.

no.no.not again.

i leant down and started explaining it.he came closer to me and leant down too.TOO CLOSE.i could feel his breath in my hair all the time.goddamn it.

after five minutes or so,i let out a breath and smiled to myself secretly,feeling like -oh wow, i just explained this to the brains of jeff andrews with my no- brains.HAHA.but truth to be told,no matter how i hate to admit it to myself,that was an easy problem.easy enough for Jeff's brains.i looked up to my side.

Jeff was still close to me,just looking at me,leaning on one of his hands on the desk.just looking at me with a look that i couldn't understand.how long has he been like this?how long has he been looking at me like this? "so,that's it." i sat up straight ,expecting him to move to the other side of the seat.but he didn't.he was STILL close to me. i put down the pen."don't stop." he whispered.there was an almost smile on his lips. did he maybe somehow,somewhere......no,that's like impossible.his words that night had told me about that clearly.

silence.

i couldn't break the stare.i swear,those intense chocolate brown eyes are gonna kill me one day with their intensity.well,i could say the same about his looks.and his smile.and his laugh.and well,everything about him.

then,suddenly that smile disappeared.he furiously looked away TOO FAST and went to the edge of the other side of the seat TOO FAR.his fists were clenched.then,he suddenly stood up." ma'am.i need to go out.NOW." he emphasized on the 'now'. mam just looked at him once and then, nodded.wait,what?!just like that?!oh yeah.Jeff Andrews' looks.works miracles.but...but this is a group work.half of my marks is in his hands.now what about that?what about half of my marks?!it may not mean anything to him but it means a lot to me!i need those marks !

and he walked out.i mean,he almost ran out.as if he was going to die if he stayed here one second more.

AND JUST LIKE THAT,I HAD TO DO MY LAB WORK WITHOUT A PARTNER.ALL ALONE.BECAUSE MY LAB PARTNER,MISTER JEFF- JERK -ASSHOLE- ANDREWS ABANDONED ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CLASS,WITH HALF OF MY MARKS IN HIS HANDS.

WHAT THE FUCK.