Shade

Chapter Twenty

"Shadepaw!"

Shadepaw was whisked away by Shimmerpaw almost the moment she set paw back in camp. She let her sister take her off to the side, behind the apprentices' den.

"Reedfur told me that Smoketail told him that you were talking with Silverstar," Shimmerpaw began. "What did she want?"

Shadepaw twitched her tail tip uncomfortably. She couldn't tell Shimmerpaw, that was certain. But at the same time, it didn't feel right keeping things from her sister. She was already under strict instructions from Silverstar and Dewleaf not to say a word to any cat about the prophecy, and she'd been explicitly told that included Shimmerpaw.

"It's nothing, Shimmerpaw," Shadepaw said. "Don't worry about it."

"It's not nothing if Silverstar wanted to speak to you alone," Shimmerpaw insisted.

"She just wanted to show me something, that's all," Shadepaw said. "She tagged onto the end of our patrol this morning."

Shimmerpaw's tail drooped. Shadepaw could tell she knew she wasn't telling the whole truth, but to her relief, her sister didn't push it.

"Okay. Well, Silverstar just called the summons. We should go."

"Right." Shadepaw hesitated. "It really was nothing to worry about, Shimmerpaw. I'd tell you if it was."

"I know." Shimmerpaw walked out into the middle of camp. Shadepaw sighed. She wished she could tell the white she-cat, but she knew she couldn't. But Shimmerpaw hadn't even flicked her shoulder with tail, and she always did that, to everyone. She was upset. She wasn't showing it, but she was.

Downcast, she went out to join the Clan, who had gathered around Silverstar. In the centre of it all was Icekit, her pelt neatly groomed, and Goldenwish a few tail-lengths away, bursting with pride. So the she-kit was finally going to be made an apprentice.

"Icekit," Silverstar meowed, "you have reached the age of six moons and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Icepaw." The leader scanned the crowd. "Bluefoot. You are a warrior of great strength and loyalty. I hope you pass on these qualities to your new apprentice."

Bluefoot bent and touched noses with the new apprentice. For the moment, Shadepaw forgot her sadness and led the chant, calling out Icepaw's name loudly.

"Icepaw! Icepaw!" The Clan joined the chant. The white she-cat puffed up her chest, eyes gleaming with pride.

"Congratulations, Icepaw," Shadepaw purred, approaching the new apprentice when the ceremony was over.

"We're denmates now!" Icepaw squealed excitedly.

"We are," Shadepaw agreed. "I hope you don't snore!" she added teasingly.

"I do not!" Icepaw protested indignantly, then realised it was a joke and broke into purring laughter. "Hey Shadepaw, how much do you know about being a warrior?"

"Almost nothing," Shadepaw replied. "I'm still an apprentice myself, you know." She tried to forget about the fact that the leader and deputy of the Clan were convinced she was ready to be a warrior.

"That's not what I meant!" Icepaw kneaded the ground impatiently. "Teach me how to hunt! And fight!"

"What do you think Bluefoot's job is?" Shadepaw replied.

"I suppose you're right... but I want to learn now!" Icepaw bounced on her toes.

Shadepaw nodded to Bluefoot. "Why don't you tell him that?"

Bluefoot seemed to sense them talking about him, because he padded over. "Are you ready, Icepaw?"

"Yes!" Icepaw exclaimed. "Let's go now! I want to hunt, fight, do everything!"

Bluefoot twitched his whiskers with amusement. "Slow down. We'll just be doing a tour of the territory to begin with. We'll get to the other stuff later."

"Aww!" Icepaw's tail drooped, then she sighed. "I guess that's better than sitting around in camp doing nothing."

"It is," Bluefoot agreed. "Follow me."

The blue-grey warrior led his apprentice out of camp. Shadepaw watched them go, feeling a twinge of jealousy. Why? She thought deeply. Perhaps it was because she was envious of how Icepaw's life was going to be so normal. Shadepaw had already been recognised by higher-ups in the Clan for her fighting instinct, despite the fact that she considered her other skills to be fairly average. She also had the weight of a prophecy on her small shoulders, and she wasn't honestly sure how long she'd be able to carry it before she collapsed. Icepaw was lucky enough to be a normal apprentice with a normal mentor - because Smoketail, too, was somewhat prodigious and couldn't really be considered 'normal' - and when she was older, she'd be made a normal warrior and live out her life until she retired to be with the elders, before moving on to be with StarClan. Shadepaw couldn't say with the same certainty what her future held, and for that reason, she was envious of the new apprentice.

"What's that look for, hm?" Silverstar purred, coming up behind Shadepaw.

"I... nothing." Shadepaw looked at the ground, determinedly refusing to make eye contact with the leader.

"I must be doing a terrible job as leader if apprentices are too scared to tell me the truth," Silverstar remarked.

"It's not you," Shadepaw meowed. "I just..." She sighed.

"Want to talk about it in my den?" Silverstar suggested.

"No." Shadepaw shook her head. "That's exactly the issue. Shimmerpaw wants to know why we keep speaking in private. I know I can't tell her, but I just feel so awful keeping secrets from her."

Silverstar blinked calmly down at the young apprentice. "I know it's hard. But this is something out of our control. It's best for the other cats not to know."

"I know. You're right." Shadepaw sighed. "It's just hard, that's all."

"I know," Silverstar murmured sympathetically. "But I also know that you'll do what's right." The leader licked Shadepaw between the ears reassuringly before standing and going back to her den.

Shadepaw watched her go with a sinking feeling in her chest. Silverstar had so much trust in her, an apprentice, and yet she felt like she was on the verge of breaking.

How in StarClan would she get through this?