A Solitude in Hugs

13/story one/

I went to see Dan in the musical, and might I say, he did fantastically. What I hated is that Pj was good too, and I wanted to think he was bad, but he just wasn't. They played best friends in the show, which I found hilarious.

And after the show I told Dan he did amazing and he was beaming. I felt my heartbeat just skyrocket like I had been the one up there dancing and singing. And he asked to take a picture together, and so we did. And I ended up taking a lot of pictures with kids from my classes that were in theatre because apparently, it's cool that I even showed up.

I only took one photo on my phone, and that was of Dan and I. I made this excuse to myself that it's so I could show it to Evan, but I knew it's because I wanted to have it. I wanted to remember his happy face, and being there with him as he was shining like a star.

I didn't realize how quickly things would die though when that weekend ended.

I mean, being the teacher was cool. The attention was the tinest bit less cool, but it was still cool. And Dan was really right about the girls. I realized really quickly how the female population of my classes seemed much more attentive than the male portion. But hey, their grades were improving a lot, so who really cares about the reason behind it?

While the girls' grades were going up though, Dan's I realized was going down. He (as Mrs. Jackson had told me) was an all A student. But I realized that right now he was down in the B's, and in my class, he was at a D. The only class above a B was Theatre, and he had two C's.

And I knew I wasn't supposed to favorite, that there were other students doing much worse, but I couldn't help it. I had to know why they were slipping so far down. I wanted to know what was wrong. I just wanted him to tell me everything, and that weird obsession I had with him telling me everything is definitely going to kill me.

So, I told him to meet me for lunch. And for some reason, he was very hesitant, like he actually didn't want to. And I tried not to let that get to me, but of course, it did. And suddenly I was over-thinking. And I still am, because what if he hates me? What if after his detentions ended, that was it? What if he knows how I feel and just...doesn't want to be around me anymore? What do I do? Is that for better or for worse?

I'm sad when he walks in.

"Hi, Mr. Lester." He says kind of quietly. He seems nervous like he's walking into the principals or something. But the thing is, he's never nervous when he does that. When he doesn't sit on the desk, I feel it. Just how sad I am that he isn't always shining. That he isn't mine at all.

He looks at me oddly. "Uhhh, you wanted to see me?"

I snap out of staring, trying to regain my thoughts. There's sunlight sprouting from the holes in his body. He's like blinds, hiding something beyond, that something always peeking through. Why won't he tell me?

"I...yeah, sit down," I say, gesturing towards a desk. He takes the seat and I wince. Dan never sits in the seat, he always sits on a desk. I want to scream at him that I know something is wrong.

"I notice that...okay, I don't want to seem snoopy with you because...well, at one point it wasn't my business but now it kind of is because...I'm worried. I just wanted to talk about...[how you really feel, why you're hiding, that I l**e you, that you matter, what changed, your beauty, why your smile lies better than me, why you're so scared of me right now, if you're okay, how scared I am of you right now]...your grades."

He shrugs. "What about them?"

I frown. "Well, just out of the blue they went from practically perfect to...neutral. I mean, you're failing Mrs. Jackson's class. And I...I mean there's no reason to. If you are having trouble academically, which I don't actually think you are, you have me, you know? I could always help you. I'd like to help you."