A Solitude in Hugs

8/story one/

"Um, Mr. Lester? Can you help me with something?"

I look over and Cara is there, smiling slightly. I smile back. "Of course, what do you need?"

She sighs. "So, I heard that you're readily available for extra help and I'm having a really hard time in this class right now. If you don't mind, after school would you help me study for finals? Just for like an hour in the library."

I look up at her with furrowed eyebrows. There were many student tutors available so why would she want me?  I was happy to help of course, but this meant no detention with Dan. I guess I could pass him off to normal detention with Ms. Wazac.

"Of course, I'll see you soon!" I answered, and she thanked me me before leaving.

//

"Okay, so, the /insert advanced English shit blah blah/ connects to this part of the sentence to create a /boopshmeep/ pushing the essays overall grammatical fluency up because of the effect of the root word on the punctuation."

"Correct!" I cheer, giving a Cara a high five.

"Thank you so much I really could not have done it without you." She says, which I don't even believe is true. The thing is about tutoring Cara is that she's smart and she can't hide it. So the whole time I didn't really feel like I was teaching her but more like I was talking and she was staring at me with interest. It was like she already knew everything that I said before I said it. It was obvious she was a good actor but she was just too smart to play dumb. Again I wondered why she wanted tutoring lessons from me.

"You know you're a lot like my boyfriend." She said, smiling at me as I laughed at that. Maybe Dan and I were similar in ways, I mean we definitely shared a lot of the same interests. It was kinda scary. But he was more confident than me in every way. Before I could reply, Cara grabbed my face with one hand and expected it for a second. My eyes widened as she smirked. "But maybe a bit hotter."

I don't answer as she lets go and takes her bag, walking away with a "bye, sir!" and a wave. And it all came crashing down at me at once. Was she flirting? Had this whole time she'd been flirting and I was just too blind to see it? Had she only asked me to tutor her so she could flirt? Oh my god.

Dan was right! I was very blind to flirting when it was from girls, no matter if they put their boobs practically in my hands. Weird way to think, but when I thought about it Cara's were all over the table as if trying to get me to see them, but I just didn't. And Dan could put his hand a little closer than usual on my side of the desk and I had a heart attack wondering if that meant something.

And if she was flirting with me...I had to tell Dan. But I couldn't! What if he didn't believe me and hated me forever? What if he didn't believe me and just thought I was over-dramatic and should back out of his love life? What was I going to do? I was his student teacher, not his best friend.

No matter how close we get maybe I shouldn't interfere. Shouldn't break his heart...but I can't just let her get away with that, like what if I'm not the first or the last guy she flirts with while dating Dan!

But then suddenly I see an answer, sitting only two tables away. "Louise." I say, plopping down across from her as she studies probably too urgently.

"Oh!" She calls in surprise, then when she see it's me she smiles. "Hello, Mr. Lester. Did you need something?"

"Yes, actually. Remember when you said you owed me?"

"Yeah! What do you need?"

I blush at telling her this but this is the only way I can tell Dan without having to be the one who tells Dan. "Okay, so, I know this is weird but I just tutored Cara and she was a bit...all over me."

Louise rolls her eyes. "Expected. She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had. She doesn't like to settle down unless they're the hottest thing everyone is talking about, or every girl is in love with. Last year it was the quarterback when he won us the championship. She broke up with him three months ago, and when Dan went through some huge popularity change, they started talking. Now they're dating and it's only been a month but you seem to be the new hottest catch of the school."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, just you wait, Mr. Lester. They'll start flooding in. Anyway, what did you need?"

I refrain from asking questions and continue. "Well, Dan should know what she's doing, don't you think? I don't want his heart to be broken, he's such a great student."

Louise nods. "Okay, so you want me to tell him that she was flirting with you? That's all?"

"Yes, that's perfect. But don't tell him I told you, act like you saw it happen because I know he'll believe his friend."

"Okay, I'll do that. Is that all?"

"Yes, thank you, Louise. You're the best."

"I try."

//

With Cara, came a storm. And not just any storm, a storm of girls that for some reason all really needed my help studying for finals. Some I don't think were even in a class that I helped in but I offered to tutor them all in the library on Friday. Dan was pissed.

"Where have you been?" Dan asked, frowning at me as he entered one of his last detentions. We only had four left, counting today.

"Um, I tutored Cara on Monday and two girls named Jess and Brooke on Tuesday. I'm really sorry, but I've been busy. I'm helping a whole group of girls Friday study for finals."

"Well, I had my last detention with the principal alone because in Ms. Wazac's detention everyone was having "too much fun" listening to me talk about the time I got caught skinny dipping with like three girls and some boy when I was fifteen by some old lady who chased us down the street with all her cats. It was a thrilling and terrifying experience. The girls were shrieking and laughing and the boy and I were tearing ass down the neighborhood with my penis doing 180's between my legs as I tried to cover all of my shame with my shirt."

"Jesus, Dan, why?" I ask laughing, and he smiled at me. "She could've called the cops!"

Dan shrugged. "Well yeah, it was her pool."

"Oh my god, you are the worst."

"You see, that's the thing. I turn into a crazy daredevil when I'm trying to impress somebody, but really I'm a terrible nerd most of the time."

"And just who were you trying to impress?"

"The girls, I think." Dan said, he looked down nervously at his lap. "But...some part of me knows that's not all true."

"Why do you say that?"

Dan blushed. "Well it's just...they weren't really the ones I wanted to see me."

I thought about this and my cheeks turned red, as I knew he had to be talking about the boy. And I didn't want to think about Dan liking boys. I wanted to think about him happy with his girlfriend...even though I didn't like her. I mean, she flirted with me! That's why, I swear. I wanted Dan to be happy, just didn't want to think about him happy with a boy.

A boy that wasn't me. A boy his age. A boy he could love. And I didn't know why it hurt less to think about him with Cara, than any boy. I just couldn't.

"You act out all the time. And you have a girlfriend." I think out loud, and he raises his eyebrows.

"Uh, so?"

"So...who are you trying to impress now?" This seems to catch him off guard. I see his mind work, his eyes staring into mine as if they know something I don't. And I never see him nervous, but he is undeniably anxious.

"Everyone."

Deep down, I know that's not what he really wanted to say.

-

AN: "you, you, you, you."