Chapter Thirty ~ My Flight To California

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Chapter Thirty ~ My Flight To California

" Me: ..... You mean everything to me, just remember that, don't doubt me because I promise you I do. Deep down this heart, you're always going to be there. "

...Continued~~~

Tomorrow is my flight to California and I'm scared.. scared I'll never see KyungSoo ever again, scared that I will die before I get to tell him that I truly love him for him and always will. Scared that he will mistake me forever.But if the world wants him to hold a grudge on me forever so that he won't get hurt, then so be it. Anything is worth to give up for his happiness. His happiness is all that matters to me, always. KyungSoo..I love you. I want you to know that I do, I really do, because I love you so much I can't see you be unhappy or go crazy after I tell you i have a disease.. I can't, I don't want you to worry about me, I want you to know I'm fine, because I really am. I will just be gone for awhile but that won't mean anything because I will come back. Not too long KyungSoo..hang in there. I promise I'll be back in no time. Just wait for me there at Korea. Wait for me. This won't take long, it won't be painful either so don't worry about me KyungSoo. I'll always be in your heart so don't miss me too much KyungSoo, I'll always be in your mind when ever you need me, so don't worry about me, don't miss me too much, I don't want anything to happen to you either. I can throw my life away for your happiness because to see you smile is worth more than anything else in this world. I love you KyungSoo that's how much I love you, the fact that I can lay down anything for you.. if you only you know that.. because it does hurt to see you hate me, to hold a grudge on me, to blame me, I don't want to but I have to bare with it because seeing you happy is worth more than what I want or don't want. I don't want you to hate me, I want you to be with me but wanting isn't as important as seeing you happy. Wanting is only wishing that it can happen but it's not the same as seeing it actually happen. KyungSoo.. I'm sorry, mianhae.. I love you. Always you'll always be in m mind. Whether if I do die from this disease now or later, you're going to always be in my heart, mind, and soul. Always. I'll always be thankful to have you in my life, to have you save me over and over again from Rose and everyone who bullies me. Thank you for existing in my life, for appearing in my life, for saving me, for loving me, for changing my life, for making my life worth to live. Although we are two different worlds, we still had a great time and I miss those memories, but now it's time to say good bye to them because now I have to go... to california with this disease that who knows can kill me. KyungSoo.. I miss you already. I miss you so much, I need you with me right now, to hug me, to hold me, to kiss me, to tell me you love me. I don't want to go with the last memories of being with you is you yelling at me. I don't want that memory. i want you to understand me and why I have to go without telling you I have this disease and without you hating me. KyungSoo.. I need you in my life.

~KyungSoo's Point of View~
I don't know what's happening, we were meant for each other obviously, why does she have to leave? Why does she have to say that we are two different worlds? Although we may be two different worlds but that doesn't mean that we can't come together and create our own world, our own story, about the two of us, and how we started out to be together and how we would end. I don't understand, does she love another person more than me? Are they going to live their lives together in California? I don't want to lose her, I must chase after her tomorrow before she goes on her flight. I don't care if we just had a fight.. I'm still going after her because I need to be a real man, I won't let her go no matter what. Because I love her so much, I can't and I won't because I know she loves me still, I know she loves me a lot. I know she cares for me a lot and I know that she only used the fact that we are two different worlds as an excuse, I know she's hiding something, I know she has something that she isn't telling me, but what could that reason be? What could it be that is so serious that she would lie to me? I know she never lies to me unless it's really serious. Someone must have forced her, but who? Who could possibly do so? I know she won't do so because I know her well, I know that she won't let anything get to her or let anything ruin any part of her life, like how she stands up to Rose when they bully her, I know she's strong on the inside but why does she have to leave now? Who is making her leave? I know she doesn't want to because we love each other. I need to know the reason why.

~My Point of View~
~Tomorrow~
Should I text KyungSoo to tell him why I have to leave? i thought about this all night yesterday and I just can't leave knowing KyungSoo hates me. i can't I won't it hurts too much. Maybe I should text him a minute away before my plane so he won't be able to come to the airport in time to take me back to his house. Maybe I will do that. Maybe.. I should. After all, he's mad at me, so if I texted him it won't hurt much since he would be so mad at me, he wouldn't even read his messages. I get ready for my flight, I carry all my bags and everything else with me and take the taxi to the airport. I took out my phone to text KyungSoo.

Text Message:
Me: KyungSoo, hi.. I just want to say bye and thank you for all the memories. I dont' know if you're mad at me or even bother to read my messages anymore, but please reply if you want to know why I have to leave..

KyungSoo: (YourName), i love you, please don't leave me!!

Me: KyungSoo..you still care about me, thank you. I didn't expect you to care at all..

KyungSoo: I love you and always will

Me: KyungSoo..I have to leave because...

KyungSoo: what is it?

Me: I have a disease, I have health problems.. I can die any minute or hour, or days.. who knows. I acted mean and rude to you so you can stop loving me so that if I do die, you won't be hurt, so you won't care. I don't want you to hurt, I just want you to smile. I don't want you to worry about me, that's why I had to act mean to you, but sitting at the airport, all I can think of is you and I can't leave happily if I know you're mad at me and that you don't know the true reason why I have to leave. KyungSoo.. I tell this to you now so that you won't have enough time to chase after me, so you won't be able to stop be from leaving, I don't want you to hurt anymore. I only want to see you smile, to see you laugh. Don't look for me in California, you won't find me. Now I am on my flight to California

KyungSoo: What?! You didn't tell me these things!

Me: I didn't because I didn't want you to worry anymore, you worried a lot before about your aunt accepting me and everything, I know you were tired already and I wanted to give you a break.

KyungSoo: (YourName), i love you. Please come back. I don't care what disease you have, I will always love you.

Me: I know you will love me but the thing is I don't want you to be hurt especially when I die..

KyungSoo: you won't die! if you do, I will die with you, you won't (YourName), stop saying that!

Me: KyungSoo... I know my health better than anyone else does..

...To Be Continued~~~

Sorry I haven't been posting lately:(( I will do my best<3 I hope you like this chapter! Thank you for reading!!(:

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