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Cake - For lack of a better partner

“Um, yea.” He settled on. “I mean like it does suck not really getting any attention.” He tried to sound like he got what Calum meant, and on some level he did. Luke didn’t really care if they met girls along the way, it didn’t affect him. Once or twice he’d seen a guy who’d actually caught his eye but it didn’t compare to the levels that Calum was talking about. Cal wanted to meet a girl, he wanted to hook up, he wanted to get some. And sure Luke wanted that too, but sure as hell not with strangers. Sure as hell not with anyone, really accept for the boy laying next to him.

Luke could hear the cringe in Calum’s voice as he spoke his next words. “Fuck I sound like a weirdo don’t I?”

The blond quickly shook his head. “No, y-you don’t.” He said, trying to backtrack. He liked when the older boy opened up to him, even if it was about something like this. Luke felt the mattress under them shift as Calum turned onto his side so he was facing Luke.

“Really?” He asked, and then didn’t let Luke answer. “Shit I just, I need something you know?” And Luke did know. “I haven’t been with anyone, done anything in so long and it sucks.” Luke nodded quickly, encouraging him to continue. Luke knew that none of the guys had gotten any action since before they left, so much for ‘groupies’ like the 1D boys had on their tour.

The blue eye’d boy wasn’t prepared for what he heard next, though he’d been hoping for it for as long as he’d known Calum.

“It, it kind of makes me wish I had like, a friend with benefits or somthing, you know?” Luke stared at him, mouth agape and wondering if maybe, just maybe, Calum would consider him. “Shit never mind it’s stupid.”

Finally, Luke realized that he needed to say something, before it was too late and the chance was gone. “It’s not, it’s.. I feel you man I haven’t got anyone either.”

The brunet’s eyes were steady as he studied Luke’s face. The blonde would have paid anything to know what was going on inside of his head in that moment. “Fucking punch me if I’m totally reading this wrong, okay?” Calum said steadily. Luke nodded silently. “I’ve, I’ve never done anything with a guy, but hey being with a guy is better than being on your own right? And, like we don’t have to do much, I just need something okay and if you’re not into it I get it …”

Better than nothing, Calum had said basically. Luke tried to convince himself he didn't care. 

He forced a practiced nonchalant mask onto his face. On the inside, he didn’t know how to feel. Calum didn’t want him he simply wanted to get off. “Oh, you mean like, help each other out?” Luke said with feigned indifference. “Yeah, I mean we could do, sure.”

Calum’s face relaxed, and a small smile formed in the corner of his lips. “You’re sure you’re cool with it?” He asked, still looking unsure himself.

“Yeah man.” Luke said, an easy smirk on his face. “When do we…” He trailed off slightly, not knowing exactly how to put it.

Calum shrugged, and Luke felt the tension around them begin to feel more than slightly awkward. “Um, w-we could do something now if you wanted or…”

Luke nodded quickly, sooner was better than later, the sooner they started this, the less awkward it would be right? “Yeah just, uh..” Luke knew what he was doing, he knew what he’d do if were any other guy and it weren’t a situation like this one. He wasn’t inexperienced. But Calum didn’t know that, couldn’t know that yet, and he was not about to freak him out before anything even happened. Better to let the older boy stumble his way around uncharted territory with only a few hints of assistance. Until they got into the swing of things.