III

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Happiness and excitement are just understatements. Kompleto kami ngayon at di ko ma describe kung gaano ako kasaya ngayon.

Napansin niyo ba, ang dami kong kuya? Yes, I have four brothers.

The eldest is Kuya Arch. Archimedes Hippocrates Montreal, and he's 30 years old and currently working in Toronto, Canada as a physician. Si dad ang nagpangalan kay kuya. Nakuha yung pangalan ni Kuya sa mga great scientists. Si Archimedes who is a Greek mathematician, physicist, engineer, inventor, and astronomer. At kay Hippocrates naman who is the father of Medicine. Well, I can't blame dad, after all, he is a doctor. Bilang panganay, siya yung pinaka matured na magisip sa amin, siya yung palaging sumasaway tuwing nag-aaway kami ng mga kuya ko at pag inaasar nila ako. At since ako yung bunso, ako palagi niyang kinakampihan. Hmm

Next to Kuya Arch is Kuya Cyan. Cyan Heides Montreal. He's 25 years old and he's also currently working in Toronto, Canada as a Medical Technologist. Magkasama sila ni Kuya Arch dun, at sa iisang ospital lang rin sila nagtatrabaho. Siya yung pinakamalambing at over protective sa akin. Naalala ko pa noong kinwento sa akin ni mama na nagagalit daw si kuya pag pinapakarga ako sa iba nung baby pa ako. Sila lang daw dapat magkakapatid at sila mama at papa ang pwede kurmarga sa akin. #perksofbeingthebunso

Si Kuya KP, Krave Poseidon Montreal. He's 20 years old and he's in 3rd year, taking up BS Psychology. Sa aming magkakapatid siya yung perfectionist. Mula sa pagkilos, pananamit, ayos ng kwarto niya. Ito lang rule niya sa kwarto niya, "cleanliness is a must, at all times". Papasok kang malinis ang kwarto niya, lalabas ka rin dapat na malinis ang kwarto niya. Naalala ko pa nung pinagalitan niya si Kuya KZ nung nakatapon ito ng tubig sa sahig ng kwarto niya. Tubig lang yun ha, for Pete's sake, TUBIG! His performance in school? Tulad ng sinabi ko kanina, valedictorian siya nung grumaduate siya ng elementary at valedictorian rin siya pag graduate niya ng highschool. Kaya sa kanya ako nagpapaturo when it comes to my assignments and projects, minsan nga siya na gumagawa eh.

Si Kuya KZ naman, Kaiden Zeus Montreal. Siya yung sa pinakabata sa kanila. Syempre aside sa akin kasi ako nga ang bunso. He's 18 years old. Grade 12 at STEM din yung strand niya. He's planning to take up BS Med Tech in college. He plays soccer as his hobby. Plus the fact that he's one of the varsity players of the school.

Siguro napapatanong rin kayo kung bakit lahat ng pangalan nila may mga pangalan mula sa greek mythology? That's because of our mom. My mother is a fan of greek mythology. She has lots of books about greek mythology sa kwarto nila ni dad. I can still remember, she once told me, kung naging babae daw ako, Athena would be one of my names. Naiba nga lang yung sa amin ni kuya kasi parehas kami, kasi si dad yung nagbigay sa amin ng pangalan.

Lastly, ako. Kean Ashlee Ezekiel Montreal. Dad got my name "Ezekiel" from the Bible. And yung "Ashlee"? Supposed to be Ashley yan sabi sakin ni Dad kasi they're expecting nga na I would be a girl nung pinanganak ako but then I turned out to be a boy so Ashlee para mas masculine. 

And yes I'm gay. Di pa ako umaamin sa kanila noon, alam na nila based na rin daw sa mga kilos ko. Naalala ko pa nung 5 years old pa lang ako, pinapapunta ako ng anak na lalake ng kapitbahay namin sa bahay nila para makipag baril barilan, at pag sinusundo na ako ng kuya ko para pauwiin, ayun naaabutan nila akong nakikipaglaro sa kapatid nitong babae ng luto-lutuan at manika. Kailan man hindi ko narinig na pinagalitan ako ni daddy, mommy or ng mga kuya ko nang malaman nila kung ano talaga ako. Doon ko rin nalaman na they really wanted to have a baby girl, and that's one of the reasons kung bakit ang dami kong kuya. Kasi they keep on trying na magkaroon ng anak na babae at it turns out na naging lalake pa lahat. Well thanks to me dahil siguro kung naging straight ako, meron pa kaming bunsong kapatid ngayon. Simula noong malaman nila ang gender preference ko, mas naging protective sila sa akin, mas naging caring sila sa akin and hindi ko alam if I'll feel special or annoyed because they always call me baby. 

They always remind me na mas maging aware ako sa mga gagawin ko kasi they're the older ones, they knew the reality more than I do, na dito sa Pilipinas, the LGBT community is only telrated but not totally accepted by the society, though may mga iilang nakakatanggap na sa mga tulad ko but I can't deny the fact na meron pa ring mga hindi nakakaintindi sa amin.

"Be strong" "Don't trust someone easily." and "Respect yourself." ilan lang yan sa dinami daming advice sa akin nila mom sa akin. Here in our country, once you are a member of the LGBT community, you should prepare yourself for a long fight, you should always remind your self to be strong as judgment, stereotyping, and discrimination will soon come your way. What would we expect? For christ's sake, were in the Philippines. That's why I'm so thankful for having a family like them. They never failed to remind me to protect and love myself just like how they do to me. Especially to my brothers, kailan man, hindi ko nakita o na naramdaman na nandidiri sila sa akin, instead they accepted me for who I am.

And yes, they were there. They knew I had a boyfriend before, di ako masekreto sa kanila eh, lahat sinasabi ko, noong mga oras na iniwan niya ako. The time when I was so down, the time when everything's a mess, the time when all I could do is to lay on my bed and cry, the time when I felt useless. They were there, they were beside me. They comforted me and tried to cheer me up. Alam ko medyo mababaw pero nasaktan ako. As Yassi once said in Camp Sawi, "it hurts more than when Zayn left One Direction." Masakit na masakit. Wala eh, first boyfriend ko eh. Its been a year. Thanks to my family who help me slowly move on. They never left me.

"I guess I already moved on" I said as tears fall from my eye. I'm crying, AGAIN.


"I guess all this time, I haven't still moved on." Pagbawi ko

"Ugh bakit ko na naman ba siya naisip? Okay, Kean Ashlee Ezekiel Montreal, forget him, wala siyang kwentang tao." I said trying to convince myself



"Baby! The food is ready. Bumaba ka na dito!" Tawag sa akin ni mommy

"Okay mom. Susunod na po." I answered as I wiped of my tears and composed my self

Pagkatapos kong mag ayos, bumaba na ako at nagsimula na kaming nagsalo-salo sa hapagkainan.







A/N: If there are any typographical errors, wrong spellings, or wrong grammar, feel free to make a comment. Thank you for reading! 😘

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