Past & Pain

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DANIEL'S POV:

I should have kissed her. Right there, right that moment. Would she slap me? Would she kiss me back? I can act like a real dump sometimes. It was worth trying as Chris wasn't around too. Oh and when she pressed her fingers to my lips...

"Dude! Dan! Daniel! Oiy! I'm speaking here! Dude!" shouted Chase from the couch across me. I shook my head slightly breaking myself away from my thoughts and talked with a puzzled voice "Wh-what did I miss?" Chase slapped himself on his forehead "Umm... Let me think. The whole movie! What the hell are you thinking anyway?"

I buried my face to my palms and then ran my fingers through my hair. Everything was just so complicated and nearly impossible to understand. "Nothing just...thinking." I said still not looking to Chase. "Its her again isn't it?"

With my fingers in my hair I nodded. "It's a t-torture seeing her and not knowing whether it's her or not...It's like she there but in the same time she's not. I've never been more desperate in my life."

Chase didn't answer but instead opened our mini-fridge under the tv and grabbed two cans of beer. Throwing one at me he said "Drink some. You'll feel better." I half-smiled and said "Thanks mate. "

***

00:45 IN THE MIDNIGHT...

I don't know how many beers I drank but I was feeling quite dizzy. It was true...alcohol was numbing the emotional pain a bit but not love. Yeah, that was it I think. I was in love with Emily Montez. Whether it's my old Emily or not, I'm in love with her.

Taking my phone out of my pocket I wrote "I think I'm falling for you Emily." and just as I was about to send it Chase took the phone out of my hands. "If you're going to this I'd prefer you to be sober." He was right. This wasn't the right time. Not yet at least. On my way to my bed I slapped Chase's back friendly and said "You're a great friend Chase" He smiled and replied "You too, Daniel."

While lying on my bed I decided to read a letter that I was too afraid to read. The last letter Emily Montez ever wrote me. The last piece I had left from her. She was so out of reach for me now. I knew that she was irreplaceable and no other Emily Montez could fill the huge space she left behind.

I took the envelope gently and opened it. I didn't have enough courage to read the words all over again. Goodbyes and pain was written all over the paper. I knew it. I didn't know if I could take it or not. With shaking hands I unfolded the letter and saw that handwriting for the first time over 6 years. Crap...it was just like I remembered.

"My one and only,

You can't know how sad I'm because of this letter. I always knew that time to say goodbye would come someday but believe me I wasn't expecting it this fast. All the times we had together, every each argument that we had, everything we said to each other are like unreachable memories now."

I could hear her soft voice reading all these words. Her voice was just echoing inside my head. I could see that my vision was a bit blurry now because of the tears in my eyes.

"I only wish that we spent our time a bit more better. But whether it was an argument, a silence moment or a laughter we shared believe me every each second I was with you is priceless to me. I know that time will pass non-stop, life will separate our ways and maybe they won't cross ever again. But every single day, every single breath I'll take you'll be there somewhere in my heart.

Wherever life takes me and whoever it makes me meet I won't forget you. I don't want you to remember me as an annoying or heartbreaking memory too. So please don't forget those gorgeous days we had. Don't forget the first time you felt you loved me. Don't forget the time I told you that I loved you for the very first time.

And lastly don't forget me.

Goodbye for now.

I love you.

-Emily Montez"

Every single memory we had was right there in front of my eyes. Her face was burning through my mind. Her tears at the graduation was aching my heart. I remembered the moment I found this letter in my pocket 2 days after the graduation.

And yes, I was crying. I was crying silently.

~~

short chapter but touching, right? Anyone else who admires Chase? I totally love him! :D favourite character so far. What do you think? Let me know :) comment and vote pls :)

xxx

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