sinb's
i opened my eyes and sunlight is already hitting my eyes, then afterwards waves of pain hits my head like a bitch. i groaned, shit that hurt. i scan my surroundings, where am i
then realization hits me
i had sex with a stranger who i dont fully know.
i proudly say that i fucked up
author's
sinb was in daze, not knowing what to do nor where to start. she was broken and has a chaotic mind that no one will ever make this stops. thinking such reactions and revelation about this makes her scared and weak. she wants to burst out her feelings there,
and she did
tears flows down to her cheeks. she was fragile, and already wounded by how her family treat her such.
her eyes darted at the other side of the bed and it was empty, she also saw the bloodstain in the bed, as a sign that her purity was taken from a male she didnt even knew. she only knows his name,
Jungkook
"phone, where is my phone" sinb said then try to stand up but her knees wobbled causing her to fall down. yet, still tries to find it and luck was on her side, i suppose.
tons of missed calls and texts is what had she been ignored. a sigh escaped on the female and started to search her clothes, she quickly wore it then quickly gets out from the motel that she and jungkook spent the night with.
sinb quickly calls for a taxi, the female admits that she wants to get out of here, as soon as possible.
sinb's
"omg sinb-ah! where were you, we have been worried sick!" sowon unnie said then quickly hugs me, guilt is eating me up, really. while they are here calling me or texting me to know where am i, im just there at the motel having a heat session with that jungkook.
"im okay unnie" i said with a weak tone, having no power with my total breakdown earlier at that hell.
"are you sure, sinb ah? you're pale" yuju unnie asked then i nod. i appreciate their worries for me, really, im lucky to have them.
"yeah, just tired at all" i half lied and then made my way upstairs. now, i just want to isolate myself to the world for awhile. there maybe i can think and rest my mind,
i just really hope i can do that, because what happend last night was a mess and maybe the biggest mistake i had ever done in my life.
*3 weeks later
feeling of throwing up, i quickly headed to the bathroom and let it all out the liquid substances that i cant take to keep anymore. it has been always like this, i eat something and then i will eventually throwing it up.
as i sat on the side of the toilet, tears were flowing down to my cheeks.
what if im pregnant thats why i keep vomiting? i-im too young for that.
"sinb? are you alright?" i heard umji asks me, i suppose she saw how i headed to the bathroom to throw up. i sigh and opened the door. she and the others didnt know about what happend at that night. im scared to tell them.
im such a coward
"you are completely throwing up every moring after we ate some breakfast, are you okay?" umji asks then i nod, i cant trust my voice for now, im scared that if i talk, i will cry infront of her and might spill anything.
"i know you are carrying something so heavy on your shoulders, you can talk to me about it b, you know im always here for you" umji said then sat beside me, the bathroom was spacious enough for two people to sit on the floor.
"i-i cant tell y-you" i stuttered and then lean my forehead to my knees. i cant afford to let them know about this matter. i have been a burden for them and i want to stand on my own knees without their help for once,
but how?
"why not?"
"please just leave me alone" i replied while in tears. then i can feel a arms wrapped around my frame. there i cried even more,
a hug,
i needed it right now, i want to stand on my own but also want someone who is just,
there, to hug me and tell everything is alright. i had felt so alone, its like the world turn their back on me, leaving me with such chaos thoughts.
"p-please dont judge m-me, d-dont l-leave me if i tell you these" i said and look at her concerned eyes.
"shall i go get the others?" umji asks the i nod.
she guided me at my bed, i sat on it then fiddled my fingers, shit, fear is really eating me up. i cant help it, i want to stand on my own without the help of everyone yet here i am,
ready to spill what happend that night, goddamn it sinb!
"you called sinb?" i heard eunha unnie's voice and i looked up, then i take a deep sigh.
"i want to tell you something" i said and that, i explained what happend not leaving any details. i lowered down my head, not wanting to meet their eyes with full of
probably disgust and judging.
i was expecting them to say such malicious things at me but instead i get a sob then some of them hug,
what?
"my baby!" sowon unnie said then hugs me.
"what kind of person he is? leaving you like a trash after he used you? imma sue this bastard!" yerin unnie said in rage.
"u-unnie"
"our baby, it must been traumatic to you, are you alright now?!"
"why didnt you tell this matter any sooner Bi?" yuju unnie asks with verge of tears, i bit my lips, my only weakness, their tears.
"i-i was afraid that you will j-judge me" i said and then they all hugged me again.
"we cannot judge you! it must have been a traumatic experience for you and hard because its your first time handling such situation like this" eunha unnie said while hugging me.
"you didnt deserve that sinb, you didnt" umji said then i just cry. i really thought they were gonna judge me. i was so scared of telling them yet i shouldnt feel it like that, because i knew they werent gonna leave me, dumb sinb, pabo.
"take a rest here first okay? we dont want you to think about what happened that night" sowon unnie stated and i nod, leaving me and umji in our room, i fell asleep while umji is stroking my hair.
