Where Are You Now?

Loving Her

Song

The Fighter by Ella Mae Bowen

Chapter 16

Josh's P.O.V

"What's wrong?" She immediately asks looking so fucking innocent and beautiful.

I want to ask her why she didn't come today but from the way she's frowning at me I decide not to.

"I just wanted to talk to you." I tell her and she nods staring at the ground.

"Look, I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Okay? I know I caused you pain. I saw the look on your face when you saw me with her. I felt how broken you were whenever I was near you. And I'm sorry but none of it was a lie." I say calmly looking down at her but she doesn't look back, only crosses her arms still frowning.

"Please, say something." I beg after a few seconds in a low voice getting closer to her.

"It's okay." She says still not looking at me and her voice cracks at the end telling me she's crying. "Hell no, it's not okay. You're crying because of what I've done to you." I tell her raising my voice.

"Josh, why me?" She asks looking at me so fucking innocently hoping for an answer.

"I don't know why but all that I know is that I love you." I breathe out and she immediately looks up at me.

"Then why did you kiss her?" She asks in a hoarse voice still and I can see the tears streaming down her face now as she's looking at me.

"Because I don't want you to love me back." I tell her. "Why not?" She frowns. "Because you shouldn't love me." I say wiping her tears away with my thumb.

"I don't love you." She says smiling weakly at me as she removes my hand away with her cold hands. "Okay." I nod.

"Just please don't cry, okay?" I say getting closer to her and she just nods taking a step back.

Michelle's P.O.V

I watch him as he drives away and clean my face with my hands before I get in. My hands are freezing from the coldness knowing I will get worse by tomorrow. "Who was it?" My mother asks once again. "A friend of mine." I answer her forcing a smile.

"Okay." She nods before they continue talking. I sit back next to her and take a sip from the soup which is no longer hot.

I don't know why he came here. But him loving me is the last thing that I've expected. Emptiness is how I feel right now; I don't love him. I don't love him. I don't love him.

"Here." My mother says placing some rice and chicken on the dish in front of me and I shove it down my throat.

...

"Thank you my dear for the delicious dinner. It was really great to see you again." She says kissing my mother. "You're welcome anytime." My mother assures her.

"You look beautiful. I didn't get the chance to tell you." Robert says kissing my cheek. "Thank you." I say smiling weakly at him.

"It's really nice to meet you Michelle. I'll see you around." He says with a charming smile.

I watch as they both leave the house and let go a breath that I didn't know I was holding.

"She's his step mom." My mother tells me "That's why she looks the same age as his." I say laughing a bit.

"Yeah and he liked you." She tells me and I laugh from the inside at the irony.

"I'm going to my room. I'm really exhausted." I tell her as she moves the dishes. "Okay, thank you."  She says and I smile weakly at her before I go to my room.

I unzip my dress and take it off throwing it on the floor before I burry my body in my bed and cover it with a warm blanket without bothering to remove the makeup.

I can not love him. It's ... It's so hard to love him.