Run (A Bucky Barnes Recovery Story)

22 Brazil

Bucky wasn't sure why he had called Steve. It had been his gut instinct, asking for Natasha's phone and beginning to dial the number and when he quite realized what he was doing, he blanched, but Natasha had encouraged him to continue.

So Bucky had called Steve's number and tried to put on the happiness he'd had earlier, to share it with him, but Steve didn't respond well, he seemed confused, or else mad, and Bucky began to panic. He realized he simultaneously wanted Steve there as support, and wished he could find the courage to push him away for good. Natasha took over for him from there out and Bucky tried to whisper to her, to tell her to apologize to Steve and tell him not to come, but she made a face at him and continued talking anyway. When they hung up, Bucky stared into his food on the table, his head in his hands, his appetite gone. Natasha was quiet, waiting for him. Bucky couldn't believe how bad that had been.

"I just, I just wanted-" he stopped himself and scoffed. "I don't know what I wanted." He thought maybe he ought to just leave now. Natasha hadn't seen him at his worst and he didn't want his darkness to scare her.

"I'm sorry, Bucky," she said quietly. "I think he just didn't understand, we caught him off-guard."

"I should go," Bucky said. Natasha looked at him pitying.

"Are you sure? Do you want to talk about it?" She asked. He knew it, he was worrying her.

"Nothing to talk about," he said, withdrawing, pulling away, though on the inside he was screaming at her, please don't leave me.

They both paid and parted ways quietly. He wanted to apologize for ruining everything when they had been having fun, but he didn't say anymore and simply began walking. He reached his hotel before too long and shut himself inside. Much to his surprise, on his bed sat a few more files, a thousand dollars in cash and a loaded handgun. He sifted through it all, shocked. Next meeting, he decided, the first thing he was going to tell Fury was that sneaking around and having people put things in his room was not okay.

The new files contained more Hydra members. He added them to his pile and pulled out the second target, skimming the information and thinking. Anna Rhodes, 32, in a hotel about a half an hour’s walk from Bucky’s. He met her at her door in the dark that very night, just like he’d met Kablukov, but this time, he cocked his gun and cleared his throat. Rhodes jumped, dropping the parcels in her hands. Bucky used his left hand to point his gun into the light, pointed directly at her forehead. She glared into the darkness at him.

“The Winter Soldier,” she said. “We’ve been warned that you were rogue.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call myself rogue,” Bucky said as he stepped forward, pushing Rhodes back with the barrel of his gun. “That would imply that I was willingly working for you in the first place.” She smirked at him.

“Small sacrifices must be made, soldier,” she said. “Minor details, inconsequential-”
“It was my life!!” Bucky roared, enraged to have his dehumanization considered an inconsequential sacrifice. Rhodes gave him a knowing smile.

“Is that not what all soldiers put on the line, in the end?” she asked. Bucky gritted his teeth, glaring at her.

“I’m not here to talk,” he said. “I’m not playing this stalling game with you.” He jabbed his gun at her. “Tell me where Hydra is in Russia or I’ll shoot.”

“You’ll shoot anyway,” Rhodes challenged him.

“So buy yourself some time,” Bucky growled.

“Did Kablukov tell you we were in Russia?” Rhodes asked innocently. “He was a fool. Hydra hasn’t been welcome in Russia for years.” Bucky stared at her, trying to judge her honesty. She was too calm, too collected with his gun in her face. Who was to say whether she was telling the truth? But then again, who was to say if Kablukov hadn’t been wrong after all?

“Then where are you,” he demanded.

“Every place you would never think to look,” she hissed. Bucky let out a breath of exasperation.

“Cute,” he said, tightening his finger on the trigger. “I can see we’re not getting anywhere today, so-”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Rhodes cried, throwing up her hands and Bucky hesitated.

“You wanna give me something now?” He asked.

“Yes!” She cried and this was what he had been banking on. She was starting to lose her cool. “We’re in Brazil!” Bucky stared, confused.

“Brazil,” he repeated. “That doesn’t even make sense, why would you be in Brazil?”

“It’s cheap,” she said. “No one notices.”

“You’re lying,” he accused her angrily. She took a deep breath and shrugged at him, as though to dismiss what should have been a good try.

“Makes more sense than Russia,” she said scoffingly and he pulled the trigger.

I'd just like to thank everyone who has been reading and commenting up to this point. I really, really appreciate hearing everyone's thoughts, and even if you haven't reviewed Run, I'm still incredibly grateful that you've stuck with me thus far. I never expected much response for Run and your positive comments are really uplifting. Thanks. -BlitheBells