I Really Want To Love You

Chapter 8

Adam woke up in a dimly lit room.

Opening his eyes just a crack, he realized that all four walls were painted a pale shade of green and the room smelt of cleaning products. He looked down and saw an IV tube inserted into his arm, allowing medication to flow through his blood stream. He tried not to think about it, the thought of blood made him queasy.

He took a deep breath and realized there was something plastered to his face. He reached up and felt the oxygen mask that was assisting him with breathing normally. Unsure of what was going on, Adam tried to remove the mask in a heap of panic.

"No, don't do that." He felt a hand slap his own hand away, forcing it to his side.

Adam thought he was alone, but looked up to see Usher sitting next to his hospital bed.

"Hey man, nice to see you awake." Usher greeted.

Adam just gave a slight wave in acknowledgement to show that he heard him. The mask was constricting his ability to speak.

"Dude. You scared the hell out of a lot of people. Everyone is talking about what happened... It's even been leaked to the press already."

Oh God Usher, why are you telling me this? Can't you see I'm not in the mood?

"Everyone was saying you had like a asthma attack or something, you almost stopped breathing! I didn't even know you had asthma..."

Asthma attack? Well that was better than people finding out I had a panic attack.

"You were asking for Blake in your sleep earlier, do you want me to go get him?"

Shit. What?

"I'll just go get him, seeing that you're just staring at me with a blank expression... He's really worried about you."

And with that Usher left the room, leaving the door slightly ajar behind him. Adam wanted to scream at him to come back, but it was too late.

Not even a minute later Blake came rushing in.

"Adam! Thank God you're awake!" Adam recognized the familiar southern drawl immediately. "I was so worried!"

Adam was unsure of what to say to him. Should he just go along with the whole "asthma attack" story? Adam managed to remove his oxygen mask for a moment in order to acknowledge Blake.

"I'm really sorry I ruined the party."

"Adam no! You didn't ruin anything! We were all incredibly worried about you, and we're just glad you're ok!" Blake moved closer to be by Adam's side.

Adam wanted to scream at Blake to get away and leave him alone. Blake was the one causing him all of this trouble. But, at the same time he longed for Blake's existence and for them to be together at all times. Blake was like a secret remedy to keeping Adam alive. He realized that he couldn't hold it in any longer. Taking a deep breath he once again removed the oxygen mask that was currently the only thing entrapping him from saying the following words:

"I love you, Blake."

Adam regretted it the moment he said it. Blake looked at him with utter confusion.

"What?"

The heart monitor was going wild.

Take it back Adam! Take it back! Say you were joking!

"I-I love you." A completely opposite sentence came from his lips than the thoughts that spun from his mind.

Blake was just staring back at him in disbelief. Finally he said something that made Adam's heart sink, "How much drugs did they give you?"

"Blake! I'm serious! I love you! I'm not high!" Adam was pleading with Blake to accept his feelings. Adam didn't want to regret letting the truth slip out... He didn't want to feel ashamed with himself anymore.

"Why are you tellin' me this? You know I'm married!"

"Blake... I'm sorry, I-I just couldn't live with myself. Every time I saw you, or even thought about you I would just lose my mind! And I don't care if you feel the same way, I just needed to get everything off my chest and-"

Adam's rambling was cut off by a quick, yet satisfying kiss.

"I wish you would have told me sooner."

Adam was taken aback. "What?"

"I've felt the same way for a while now, and especially now seeing you so vulnerable in this hospital bed... I've just never felt so in love with you."

"But... You just said you're married! What about Miranda? Don't you love her?"

Blake sighed. "Of course I love Miranda, just lately I haven't been able to feel the same way about her as I do about you."

"Blake..."

The passionate conversation was cut off by the sudden sound of a door slamming open.

"Oh Adam! Mi cariño! I was so worried!" Shakira came running in and hugged him tight. Adam returned the action, but kept looking over her shoulder into Blake's eyes.

"I'll leave you two alone, we'll talk later Adam."

Blake waved goodbye and Adam watched him head out the door.

This has to be the best thing that ever happened to me.