I Really Want To Love You

Chapter 5

The drive home had felt sufficiently awkward for Adam. Thankfully Blake didn't seem to notice how tense he was. Blake rambled about Jake Worthington and a bunch of country vocabulary Adam didn't understand throughout the whole ride.

It seemed like forever until they finally pulled into Blake's driveway. "Well here we are." Blake said while exiting the truck.

And here we go. Adam took a deep breath and made his way outside of the car as well. He followed Blake up the path towards his house. He vaguely heard him say that Miranda was gone for the week much to Adam's pleasure. Having a third party witness his emotional state of love would just be the cherry on top of this horrible night.

"I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable." Blake stated, gesturing towards the living room. Blake made his way down the hall and Adam took a seat on one of the massive sofas. His head was killing him from the accident earlier. Everything just went so fast. His poor car was totaled beyond repair and all because of a stupid song triggering a stupid anxiety attack. He put his head between his legs hoping to help ease his breathing and calm him down.

Get yourself together.

He heard heavy footsteps coming back towards the room. "I brought you some Tylenol, thought you might be in pain-" Blake paused, obviously noticing the position Adam was in.

"Are you alright?"

Adam looked up at him, blinking away the light. "Yeah, just think I got some bad whiplash."

Blake walked over, placing the two caplets in the palm of his hand. "Take these. It'll help."

Adam froze as he felt Blake's hand against his own again. He quickly shook it off and downed the two pills along with a glass of water Blake had provided for him.

"Uh, I made up the guest room for you. You'll need a good night's sleep and trust me that bed is comfier than mine."

"Thanks Blake, but I don't think I'll be getting much sleep tonight. I'm kind of still in shock about the whole accident."

"Understandable. But, uh, at least try?" Blake was looking at him with puppy dog eyes. He was clearly worried about him.

"Trust me, I will."

"Alright. Well I'll leave you alone. The guest room is straight down the hall, last door on the left. Night."

"Night." Adam muttered out watching Blake head out.

He waited until he heard the bedroom door shut closed and then broke down in tears.

Why am I such a failure? I'm in love with a married man! I need to let it go, but I just can't! I can't stop thinking about him and it's driving me crazy. I nearly killed myself tonight thinking about him!

Adam was so busy crying and hyperventilating that he hadn't even noticed that Blake made his way back out to the living room.

"Adam, what's going on?" Blake said, seriously.

Adam looked up, startled,  like a deer caught in the headlights of a moving car. Adam wiped away the tears with the back of his hand and tried to give a slight smile. "I told you, it's just I'm really in shock about what happened. It's silly."

Blake walked over and sat right next to Adam, who's heart skipped a beat. What Adam was not expecting was for Blake to suddenly wrap his big, strong arms around him.

"I know that's not all that's bothering you... But I'll find out how to help whatever this is. Trust me."

Adam nearly stopped breathing. This felt so nice. He never wanted to break free from Blake's arms.

Blake patted him on the back and pulled away. "Try to forget about whatever's bothering you. We have a big day tomorrow."

And with that Blake headed to bed, for good this time. Adam smiled as he kept the memory of that warm hug. A memory he won't forget.