silence. +martinus gunnarsen+

snow ball

gerd anne-"what shall she do doctor?"

dr. maja-"well we will have to put you on an eating plan. is there any reason why you haven't been eating."

alex-"i lost my mom recently and i just lost my appetite along with it."

dr. maja-"is there anything else?"

jacob told me i was an anorexic slut. i looked down at my hands and shook my head no. great. one more
problem to add to the list.

she was saying something to gerd anne but i felt myself getting overwhelmed. i couldn't listen to this any longer.

the rest of the time in the doctor's office i felt like i was in another world or something. when we were walking to the car i could feel a tear fall down my face.

i turned my head towards the window and looked down outside the whole time. i didn't want to talk about it and gerd anne didn't ask about it.

when we got home i ran up to my room i plopped on my bed with my face down. i got up and looked in the mirror. i lifted up my shirt.

my stomach was flat. you could see my ribs. my chest was flat too and my legs were skinny. clearly i'm not
pretty when i look this way. great.

i went back onto my bed and sat on my bed. i went on spotify and put on a song to put my head else where.

i heard a knock on the door. i paused the music to go open the door. martinus was smiling but immediately frowned when he saw i was crying.

martinus-"what is it?"

my lip trembled. i burst out into tears and he took me in his arms.

alex-"i'm too skinny and everyone thinks it and that's why i had to go to the doctor. now i know why you always watch me eat."

martinus-"you are beautiful just the way you are. you hadn't been eating since your mom. we were worried. it's only because we care."

he was right. i went back on my bed and martinus laid down with me. i tried to just close my eyes and forget about this. the dance was tonight. just worry about that.

;;

everything was ready. it was time for the dance. i was excited but i felt so nervous. i had butterflies in my stomach.

what if martinus didn't like the dress? damn i would be screwed then for sure. it would really suck. okay don't think badly.

the girls and i all walked into the gym where the dance was being held. except it didnt look like the gym. it looked like a winter wonderland.

all of us went over and took photos together. we stared out on the dancefloor and the boys hadn't come yet so i was worried. what if they don't show up.

just as i was thinking that i felt a tap on my shoulder. i turned and saw martinus.

martinus-"may i have this dance?"

i nodded my head. he took my hand and led me to the dance floor. he looked so good tonight.

martinus-"you look so beauitful alex. i mean my god that dress is stunning."

i blushed as those words left his mouth. did he really mean it?

alex-"you look amazing as well."

we were slow dancing and i couldn't have been happier to be with him.

for hours we were having fun together and the night couldn't have gone more smoothly. i mean perfect guy, perfect dress, perfect friends its really great.

we were all dancing together when martinus came closer to me and whispered in my ear.

martinus-"come on i want to take you somewhere."

i followed his lead away from the crowd. he took me outside where the lights were all hung.

martinus-"alex i need to ask you something."

alex-"what is it martinus?"

martinus-"i want you to be my girlfriend."

he had a smile on his face and i now had one on mine. this made me so happy. i hugged him and nodded my head yes.

alex-"what about your parents?"

martinus-"they don't have to know."

i smirked. a secret. this could either be horrible or amazing. let's hope for amazing.

he pulled me in close and kissed me under the lights. it was cold out but his lips made me feel warm. his hands slid on my waste and he felt my dress.

i loved being with him. he made my problems disappear. i loved him. we pulled away from the kiss and i looked into his eyes. man was he amazing.

how did i get so lucky to have a guy like him in my life. honestly it made me so happy.

martinus-"let's go back inside."

alex-"no. i want to spend the rest of this night with you."

i grabbed his smiley goofy face and kissed him. i'm in love with him.

+++

merry christmas!!!

christmas eve/christmas chapter out later today!!

night lovelies hope you all have/had a great day