Hetalia Zodiacs

Hetalia as Pitch Perfect Quotes

In honor of seeing Pitch Perfect 3, which is the worst movie out of the three.

Italy—"Don't worry, it's just God punishing you 'cause you're a ginger."

Germany—"I have a confession to make."

"We all know where this is going. Lesbi-honest."

"This is hard for me to admit to you guys, but for the past two years, I have had a serious...gambling problem."

"What?"

"What?"

"It all started when I broke up with my girlfriend."

"Whomp, there it is!"

Japan—"I'm gonna have to excuse myself to freshen up the downtown."

America—"I'm gonna finish him like a cheesecake!"

England—"I'm going to milk that cabbage patch kid."

France—"Oh! Sexy man splits!"

China—"You have a little something behind your ear."

"Leave it. It fuels my hate fire."

Russia—"Hey Hilary Swank from Million Dollar Baby."

"Hey, you could just say 'Hey, Million Dollar Baby.' You don't have to reference the specific actress."

"Damn. Prison changed you."

Austria—"Any ideas? Because I..."

"Okay, um, hear me out. We can remove the sleigh bells, and put in kalimba... You know, the finger thing."

"I know what a kalimba does; I know how it's operated, okay?"

"Kalimba..."

"Don't say it again. Go in the corner - go eat your lunch in the corner."

"But what am I gonna do with my Sriracha?"

"Say one more hipster thing and I'm gonna shove you in your vintage bassoon case."

Hungary—"You are gonna get pitch-slapped so hard that your man boobs are gonna go concave."

Prussia—"I speak eight different languages, but none of them are 'loser'."

Spain—"You're one of the a cappella girls. I'm one of those a cappella boys, and we're gonna have aca-children. It's inevitable."

Romano—"What the hell?"

"Umm, It's pretty cool actually. I think we're just runnin' out of gas."

"Well, that can't be. You just filled the tank."

"Yeah, I did. And, yeah maybe I didn't, because I got hit by flying Mexican food."

Canada—*trying to insult* "Your sweat smells like cinnamon...Dammit!"

Denmark—"Would you like to have sex later?"

"No!" *winks*

"Okay, you said no, but you winked, so that's a no then?"

"One hundred percent no!" *winks*

Norway—"So I have a feeling that we should kiss. Is that feeling a good feeling or an incorrect feeling?"

"I sometimes have a feeling I can do crystal meth, but then I think, mmm... better not."

Iceland—"I can see your toner through those jeans!"

"That's my dick."

Finland—"This could be the most significant conflict between America and Germany in history!"

"Crack a book, John."

Sweden—To Sealand: "You are one of us. You paid the registration fee."

Sealand—"I'm sorry man—I was just focused on the 42 Gs at D and B's."

Poland—"Listen, I don't want you guys to fight. You're Beca and Chloe. Together you're "blowy", and everyone loves a good blowy."

Lithuania—"If I could sing a lick in any human possible way, I would, but I can't, and I hate myself everyday because of it."

Greece—"What are you doing?"

"I'm horizontal running."

Turkey—*everyone is singing, "I'm all out of faith. This is how I feel. I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor..."*

"What kind of white shit is this?"

Ukraine—"The Trebles don't respect us, and if we let them penetrate us, we are giving them our power."

"Not a good enough reason to use the word 'penetrate'."

Belarus—"I set fires to feel joy."

"That's adorable."