Bucky Barnes Preferences & Imagines

Winters Without Him

A rush of warmth ran over your trembling body as you walked inside the bustling café situated on the outskirts of New York. You were meeting Tony and Peter there to discuss work and also holiday plans - and to get drinks, a necessity you all clearly longed for.

You spied your two friends at a small table in the corner of the shop, early as always, and beamed at them, gliding over towards them and sitting down in one of the plush velvet seats that the café had supplied.

Tony slid a drink towards you. It was your favourite, a simple hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows in the shape of pine trees. Peter was cradling his cup of hot chocolate, that had a delicate candy cane sticking out from it, and Tony had a simple coffee - the clear Scrooge of the group.

"Nice to see you, as always, Y/N," Peter greeted you as you took small sips of your drink.

"And you too of course!" You replied, "It's seemed like forever...especially after everything that's been going on."

Tony was silent, his forehead creased with stress-lines, but bared a small smile on his timid face. He was clearly unhappy, and why wouldn't he be? The war that he and Steve had shared was atrocious, it split people up - it divided them. It broke you away from Bucky, the only man you had ever loved.

"What are you doing this Christmas?" You asked, shaking your head from the thoughts of your lost boyfriend and looking up at Tony.

"Oh, just the usual. I made Happy go all out again, we have an even bigger tree this year! It's going to be amazing too...Pepper's staying with me, and so is Peter." Tony smiled over to Peter, who was drinking his chocolate, nearly choking on it when he was mentioned.

"Mr. Stark I am honestly so honoured to be spending Christmas with you! Are we going to be fighting aliens? Can Y/N come over as well? Oh my God, can we invITE VISION?" Peter started jumping up and down in his seat, his smile broader than ever, and you laughed gently.

You hadn't seen any of the crew like this in months, and seeing Peter so bubbly and warm made you want to hug him tightly but also burst into tears and cry in a corner of a room. You didn't feel as though you could ever get as happy as that, especially with him gone...

•~•

After a few more hours of talking and exchanging presents in the warm café, you stepped outside into the bitter New York air and made your way to your apartment. It was a long way from the café, but was near the tower which was an easy access thing that you needed in case an emergency went on and no-one else could fill in.

Fumbling in your pockets when you had reached your apartment, your gloves fingers finding your keys with ease and slotting them into your door.

With a sigh, you took your hat off and threw it down onto your cupboard messily, doing the same with your gloves and scarf; the keys went on the rack above that cupboard, and you stepped into your living room.

You had decorated this year, with the traditional Christmas colours - red, gold and green, and although your apartment felt festive, it didn't feel like home.

You plonked yourself down on the beige loveseat and looked at the TV. You had no energy to switch it on, and you sighed deeply, burying your face into your hands.

You longed for him...for his touch. For him to hold you again and to tell you everything was alright. To knock on your door at Christmas and give you a giant present, kissing you lovingly and spending the rest of the day with you.

But he couldn't do that, not now. He was in Wakanda with Steve and T'Challa...he wasn't returning.

You missed his silky, tousled, brown locks and his ice blue eyes that sparkles whenever they met yours. You missed his cheeky smile, and you missed protecting him from any harm - in every case Hydra.

When they came to your house, and when he turned on you. Trying to hurt you, his eyes full of nothing...just emptiness.

And you missed him staying the nights - watching movies, hugging together and eating all sorts of food past midnight.

And his kiss...his sweet innocent kiss. Some short, some...not so short - but loving you all the same.

His nicknames for you, doll, beautiful, idiot, stranger... they seem weird to others but they were yours and his.

Bucky.

You broke down, your sobs almost silent as thoughts of him ran through your brain. You missed him, but knowing he was alright made you want to cry even more.

You didn't care if he was a monster to others - he wasn't. He was yours, a kind, sweet, gentle person, who wouldn't want to harm even a fly.

He was your Bucky.