Touch (Will not be completed on Wattpad)

Chapter 28

OK OK OK!!! I don't want to leave you guys hanging, but I am getting this story edited so it can be published. Here is chapter 28. There are three more chapters after this one and I will let you know as soon as they are available! Please remember how nice I was to listen to your request and not leave you hanging when it comes time to help me launch on Amazon ;) You guys are the best! I really appreciate all of the comments and likes.

ENJOY!!!

Chapter 28

Noah

My head pounds as I try to right myself on the couch. Fuck, I really over did it last night. I want so badly to go to her, but I think I might get sick. Last night is all a blur and as I look down at the ground around me, my stomach sinks with the realization that I might have messed up. I don't remember what happened, but I can see the scattered articles of clothing, both a woman's and mine.

It's a horrible feeling to be sitting in your underwear on your couch and having no idea how you got there. I look up to Leah, but what I see in her eyes crushes me. She's so hurt it takes my breath away. Bits and pieces of last night start to filter in and I feel myself grow sick at the memory of her leaving me at my front door while she went into her apartment with Lyle. I remember going into my apartment and closing the door, and then there's just nothing.

If she is here with me right now and he is nowhere around, maybe things worked out. I can tell by the look on her face that she didn't stay here last night, and I know for sure the clothing scattered at her feet is not hers. As if on cue, a sleepy Mandy emerges from the hallway in only a man's t-shirt--my t-shirt. I spin my head back to Leah, but it's too late.

I watch as she drops my shirt that she was holding and turns around to make an escape. "Leah don't," is all I can manage, but it's timid and unconvincing because even I know she should leave me. What have I done? In the past when I have screwed up with women the exits have been dramatic. I would take drama over the silent way that she slipped out of my apartment as if being in my company one second longer would've killed her.

"Damn it!" I shout, but then regret it when my hangover roars to life inside my skull. I throw my hands over my face and tip my head back to stop the pounding. I hate myself. Nausea sets in again when I think about what she must be feeling. I felt the same way when she had left with Lyle.

It dawns on me then that I've really known the whole time that she wouldn't go back to him. I saw it in her eyes when we danced and in the way she listened so intently to anything I was interested in. He had lost her to me, and then I lost her to my inability to acknowledge the signs. For the last few years I have had myself so convinced that true love doesn't exist, that I couldn't see how wrong I was. Today it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

"Fuck," I bite out as pain and guilt twist in my gut. I hear Mandy adjust her weight and look to her with such regret. I watch her recognize the emotion on my face before she tucks her lips between her teeth and slowly shakes her head no. I'm not sure what she means so I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees and run my hands through my hair.

"Noah," she says softly as she makes her way over to me cautiously. I feel the cushion beside me dip with the weight of her body, but I don't lift my head. Her small hand finds it's way to my back, but when I flinch she removes it. "Wow, you really like her, huh?" Her tone tells me it's more of a rhetorical question, but I nod my head anyway.

We sit for a minute as I try to figure out how I can fix this. Finally, I hear Mandy take a big breath before she speaks. I know she is struggling with what she is going to say so my attention is completely focused on her words. "You don't remember last night do you?" I just shake my head no. I might not remember, but the evidence paints a pretty clear picture. "Nothing happened. Not that I didn't want it to, but you told me no."

I look to her face so I can read if she is telling the truth. I see the sadness around her eyes and know that I've hurt her too. She offers me a small smile and a little laugh, "Geez, Noah, she's really done a number on you. I've never seen you this torn up before." She's joking, but she couldn't be more accurate. I feel the first rays of hope enter my heart as I grab Mandy's hands.

"Thank you, for being honest. I'm sorry if I hurt you." She answers my words with a small smile and an even smaller shake of her head.

"It's ok. I knew what it was when we started this thing. I'm just going to grab my stuff and get out of here. I'm sorry she saw that." So am I. I have no idea how to convince her that I'm not as big of an asshole as I look. I lean back against the couch and start to think of all the ways I could fix this. Twenty minutes later I'm still there, with not one idea of what might work.

Mandy has long since left, and the day has already begun. To me, I'm stuck in some horrible purgatory. I might be able to tell Leah that nothing had happened, but I still called Mandy and brought her back to my place. At the same time, Leah had left me to be with Lyle, but there is no way I'm going to pin my bad behavior on hers.

Every morning you are in a relationship, you should invest yourself 100%. Some days she isn't going to be 100% and I will need to step up, just like mornings like this I'm not 100% and I need her full commitment to help us recover. If we can commit like that we will never fall below perfect. When couples say relationships are 50/50, they don't realize that on the days they fall short, there won't be enough love and commitment to keep it solid.

Thinking about couples brings my thoughts back to those who I have helped in counseling. Just like that it hits me. I jump from the couch and make my way to the shower. I know how to convince her we can make it work, I just need to get to her before she convinces herself that it's hopeless.

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