Chapter 14
Noah
I thought that playful Leah was my favorite, but now serious Leah has stole my heart. I love the way she is taking this so serious and how hopeful she looks when the couple touches. I already know how this story ends unfortunately; they decide to go their separate ways at the end of our fifth session. It’s going to break her sweet heart. I’m following along on my own sheet of paper, but to be honest my attention is more on Leah than the video. I’m just lucky to know this session like the back of my hand.
When the session is over she hands me her paper with a very cute smile and I compare our two sheets. We are perfectly in sync, but somehow I already knew that we would be. I have to pretend to check a few more things because the knowledge that I’ve found someone who is as into the results as myself is hard to process. I’m not sure what it means, but I do know that it threatens to break down a wall I have built to keep my heart safe.
“It’s perfect,” I finally say as I tuck our sheets back into the manila folder on the table. I hit eject on the DVD player and Leah stands up and stretches her legs.
“Do we have time for another one?” she asks, looking around for the nearest clock. It is after 8 and although I know we could squeeze another one in, I’m not sure I want to burn her out our first time through. It’s hard to watch these videos and I think another one might put her to sleep.
“Let’s pick it back up tomorrow. What do you say we watch something a little more uplifting?” I switch the input and the sounds of a movie begin to play through the speakers. Leah frowns at me but then sits down on the couch beside me. I put my feet up on the small table and rest my arm against the back cushions. As we scan through the cable guide she leans into me and puts her feet up on the table next to mine. I know I shouldn’t, but I secretly hope she rests her head against my arm.
When I get to the movie channels, we decide on a new comedy release and I set the remote down and let myself sink a little lower into the couch. As if we do this every night, Leah shimmies down into the cushions and rests her head back against the crook of my arm. I can’t help but to smile and feel my heart swell within my chest. Yes, the 15 year-old me is back out to play and I try hard to remind myself she is cuddling with me because we’re friends.
The movie has us laughing out loud. As the time slips by and the alcohol from earlier continues to rush through our veins, we both seems to melt further into each other and I feel myself running my fingers through her hair absently. Her hand is resting innocently on my leg and I can smell the faint scent of her shampoo. I marvel at the little things I notice during our time watching this movie. The way her hair smells, then feeling of warmth from her breath on my chest, the perfect way in which her body fits up against mine, and how nice it feels in my heart to have this intimacy.
I don’t have any women that I’m just friends with. I have a few colleagues, but no one that I would feel comfortable with like this. There’s always a professional line, or a disinterest when it comes to the other women in my life. With Leah, it’s different. I want to hold her and spend time with her. I want to know what she is thinking. Listening to people all day can leave me exhausted, but right now I would stay up all night to hear her speak about her life. My instincts tell me I’m approaching dangerous territory, but my heart and body want to see where it takes me.
When the credits finally roll, I switch to the news and Leah falls asleep in my arms. I’m tired too, but I don’t want to risk her sticking to her guns and sleeping on the couch. I decide that holding her a little longer is good for both of us so I use my feet to lift hers and I twist so that we are both fully on the couch. She wakes up for a minute but is not fully present, so I scoot down and rest my head on the pillows below my head. When she looks around with sleepy eyes and I feel the cool night air hit the parts of my body previously warmed by my contact with her, I instantly miss our connection. I open my arms and she lies back down, this time resting her face in the crook of my neck.
I wrap my arms around her and kick the blanket from the back of the couch to cover our bodies. I glide my hand down her head to tuck away the hair that is tickling my face. At least that is why I tell myself I’m doing it. It sounds a lot less convincing as I try to keep telling myself that on the fourth or fifth pass. The truth is Leah intrigues me. She’s beautiful, intelligent and still hopeful. There is something about her that makes me want to have her near me even when sex isn’t involved.
I softly kiss the top of her head before resting my cheek against her. The darkness surrounds us when I click the TV off. In the silence of the apartment I close my eyes, and allow myself the comfort of holding her against me. In the morning she’s going to wonder why I never went to my bed and I’m not sure how I am going to explain myself. I’m not afraid of honesty, but I don’t know that it’s not just me being selfish. She needs the time and space to heal from the relationship she was in and I need to give her that.
When my heart was broken I discovered that spending time with women helped fill the space. If I’m honest, lately the lonely has crept back in a little and I am beginning to wonder where I am slipping in my routine of pushing it out. Soon Leah will look for the tools that help to sooth the sting and her head will be clear enough to discern lust from love. When that happens I hope I’ll have figured my shit out so my head is in the right place. If I cross the lust line with her, I know I’ll be dooming our friendship and right now as she feels so soft and comforting in my arms, I know that losing her would be the worst thing that could ever happen to me.
***Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/SarahWhiteWrite
On Pinterest www.pinterest.com/sarahwhitewrite/
Twitter twitter.com/SarahWhiteWrite or @SarahWhiteWrite
YOU ARE READING
Touch (Will not be completed on Wattpad)
RomanceLeah's dreams of a happy forever with her boyfriend come crashing down when he leaves her to pursue his education far away from the school she just committed to. She is still holding on to hope that he will realize his big mistake. She may have a...
