Exotica

Trauma

TW ⚠️ - SA
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I'm crying and twerking all at once bc we hit 50k reads nxbndkskslsl thank you all so much like I'm crying some real thug ass tears rn 😭😭😭😭 to give my thanks here is an update 💗

♡ Amini Salazar ♡

"Cheers to all the hardwork you've all put into this company!" Jensen shouts, raising his glass. I sit silently in the back row and raise mine then take a sip. I honestly had no clue why I was here to begin with. I'd rather much be at home but then again, I'd have to listen to Quinten pressuring me to tell him what's wrong with me. Don't get me wrong, I love that he's so caring but now is just not the time. There's so much shit going on with my life and i'm just trying to be the one in control of it, I need to take control and fix things for myself which is why I've been looking for a new manager these last few weeks. Jensen has got me some really good bookings and this publicity stunt with Hayden is doing me well but I don't like it. It feels like I'm being fake for the public actually, that's exactly what it is I'm doing. I have learned to grow thick skin within these last few weeks which is still hard because I do find myself having out bursts or crying from the stress but, we have to be pushed to our breaking point in order for us to know how far we can go and how much potential we have in us.

For me, as long as I keep this mindset and push myself forward I'll be okay, shit is just rocky right now but life ain't perfect and nor is the modeling industry especially when you're around models who have way more to show for than you. I have been busting my ass though so I am getting my name out there, I actually have a magazine shoot next week and an audition for a runway walk sometime next month. If all works in my favor then I'll land that spot.

"What are you doing back here all by yourself?" I look up and smile at Kendall; a model who soon became a close friend of mine. I made it a promise to stay far away from Bella as much as possible and by doing that I ended up becoming friends with Kendall. "I don't want to be here." She laughs and sits down beside me, taking the glass out of my hand. I watch her drink the rest of my champagne then run her finger along the rim of it while looking around at our surroundings. "You're not the only one." She replies, pressing her back against the chair. "I can't believe that this was mandatory, how is a party mandatory." Kendall scuffs, I laugh and nod in agreement. I could understand if he had something important to tell us but he didn't he just wanted us to show up and from the looks and throw back drinks. "So your birthday is next week..." I look at her and nod. I've been so damn busy I forgot about that, my ass forgot that we were in the month of July. "So, what are you doing as a celebration?" I shrug my shoulders and open my clutch, taking my phone out to check the time. "You're going to be twenty seven, girly. You have to do something."

"Yes, thank God for another year of life and that's it." Partying is starting to get lame for me now. Dressing up just to go out and be surrounded by sweaty, drunk bodies is no longer the wave. I rather sit my ass on the couch and watch some tv with my kids and husband while stuffing my face. "Come with me to the bar?" She asks while grabbing my hand, I glance over at the bar, seeing a few models crowded around it. "Okay, I'm not getting a drink though." I state while standing up and pulling the ends of my dress down.

"It's not like the drinks they have here are good anyway, I just want another glass of champagne." She tells me while leading me over to the bar. I look around while following her; I just really need to go home if I'm being completely honest with myself because I feel out of my element whenever I'm around these girls, the vibes and frequencies I feel just don't suit me well; my soul feels as if it's in some type of danger.