Pirates of the Caribbean: Barbossa and the King's Messenger (Book 1)

Mayhem and Merriment

Chapter Thirty - Mayhem and Merriment

Suddenly I was conscious of the bizarre sight Barbossa and I must present — the floor strewn about with gory weapons, shards of broken bottles, sodden, bloodstained clothing lying in sticky pools of rum, and the two of us wrapped in heavy swathes of dirty bed-clothes upon the dining table. I gasped so loudly I nearly choked as I sat bolt upright, clutching the sheets to my neck and awakening Hector.

"I am going to ask you calmly and slowly," said Jack Sparrow, swaying on his heels a bit and making reassuring gestures with his hands. "Why is the rum on the floor?"

"We drank some, and . . . I'm afraid all the rest was . . . poured out," I said, embarrassed.

"You've poured out the rum?" he repeated with a frown, his voice growing louder as he struggled to make sense of it. "Good rum?"

Barbossa was not discomfited in the least at the sight of Jack. With a broad, victorious grin, he sat up and threw a proprietary arm about me.

"Feast yer eyes on the happy couple, Sparrow!" he announced in his loud, rasping voice."We're t' be wed!"

My face blushed scarlet; Jack glanced at me, and I might have seen him wink. He sauntered towards the table, raising an eyebrow at the man sitting beside me.

"Ah! Honourable intentions, Hector?" he exclaimed. "From you, mate? Then congratulations are indeed in order. For a start, I won't need to break both your pins to see you do right by her." Then he surveyed the destruction surrounding the table.

"Well, Brat, I see a long night of mayhem and merriment has ensued," he told me. "And you've got a jump on the honeymoon – well done!" Then he added, teasingly, "Just for future reference, it gen'rally goes 'wedding' first, 'honeymoon' after."

Hector frowned. "She ain't yer 'Brat', an' I'll thank ye t' show a proper respect t' me future wife!" he said indignantly.

Jack jerked his head back and raised his hands. "Oi! Mate!" he replied, "I'm not the cove that robbed her and marooned her; so we'll be keepin' that in mind while you're speakin' of respect!"

Then he turned his hands up in a flourish and fixed Hector with a toothy, wicked grin. "However, I shall be the cove givin' her away at the weddin'! You know – the one who's permission you've to ask?" With a dazzling smile at me, he added, "Tell 'im, Brat!"

This produced an immediate outburst. "Sparrow's t' give ye in matrimony?" Hector demanded loudly. "Sparrow?"

"Yes! 'Sparrow'! I've promised him!" I said, raising my voice to match, as Hector gave me a disbelieving stare.

Jack intervened hastily. "Order! Order, you lot!" he exclaimed, holding up both hands for attention.

"Now, Hector. Why would I stand in the way of her marryin' such a fine gentleman as you?" he enquired smoothly. "Of course, I'll agree to it." Hector appeared mollified, and Jack turned to me.

"Well, mouse," he said cheerily, "if you fancy old scallywags, you've certainly got yourself one of the oldest and, er, scallywaggiest!" As he spoke, Jack made a face and waved his hand disdainfully towards Hector. My sweet-tempered scallywag responded with an angry glare, and Jack quickly offered me his congratulations.

"Well done, darlin' – all the best to you!" he said. He patted me on the back and started for the door.

"Tell you what," he said as he departed, "Make yourselves presentable, get yer kit on so we can go back to town, and I'll just wait by the stair, eh?" He withdrew to the corridor.